I’m trying to remember back to the last time I spent three hours in a workout of some sorts. I’m thinking 2006 was probably the last time, I was the true gym rat at college. Primarily because the girl I was dating at the time was on the volleyball team, and I wanted to attempt to be as fit as she was (not even close).
After being sick, after dealing with the heat, and after even absorbing the defeat in the work force, today was the first time our that I wasn’t dying by the third lap on the track. I spent two hours on the track, and an hour in the gym. I ran a few miles, sprinted a few times, and pushed my body hard…but not to the point of complete failure.
It felt nice. I felt human, and this time it was in a good way. The sweat and heartbeat felt purifying, as if I was mentally shedding off the past two weeks of struggles. Feeling new muscles working as I keep improving my stride allows me to see a new season of life.
A strong run is the perfect way to recalibrate life after it has gotten a bit off track.
I have never in my life had such misfortune when working with electronics. It’s true that within the past two months I have managed to break four different HTC One phones, each of the covered under my service plan. I’ve witnessed a camera malfunction in two of the phones, and the third just plain died, and today I received my fourth… Continue reading →
I can, with a whole heart, confess that training these past two days have been harder than any track practice I ever partook in, in high school. I’ve collapsed at the door of our apartment each day, laid on the carpet, and dealt with the same cramp in a muscle that I’ve never had cramps in.
I cried last night. While laying in bed this overwhelming sensation of guilt and failure rushed over me. The best thing I could do was hold Darco, whisper, “I’m sorry”, and hope to fall asleep.
It’s isn’t that I miss the job, it’s knowing what kind of bind my shortcoming has placed on our family…again. We learned that it may take up to six weeks for my substitute license to get renewed through DESE (Dept. of Elementary and Secondary Education), and of course that was a sensation of heartache that came through the family when we learned that.
Whether I liked my previous job or not really isn’t the question, it’s more about understanding that I failed. Again.
I finally hit the threshold of exhaustion today. I spent an hour running outside, followed by another hour in the gym. With the 94℉ heat you’d expect some tiring from being outside, but it was the elliptical at the gym that really caused me to question life.
I have no stride, and an elliptical is great for forcing you to have one. Near the twenty minute mark I was just moving to move. All my muscles were failing, sweat was pouring off my face, and I just kept repeating the same question:
Why am I running?
Only through exhaustion can I see a clear picture of dreams, desires, and prayers. Darco always asks me what I want to do that would be fun. My answer to her is the same as my daily prayer, I just want to run.
I want to fly down the track, and move with the breeze. I want to feel my legs firing in sync with a wild horse. I really have no clue my purpose for being placed on this earth, but this much I do know:
While I’m here, I’m going to keep running with my dreams.
Big thanks to ALO drink for always keeping the cramps away.