I live with a lumberjack.
Fact.
Literally, he was in the trees last weekend cutting down limbs with a chainsaw [we know how to live out holiday weekend around here]. Jim is a unique creature. Just recently, in the past few years, we’ve [MC and myself] have started to slowly introduce him to technology.
However, like the tech boom of the ’90′s, this too was the boom time of Jim.
He now owns a HTC Hero 4G, lives off of Facebook, and we’re still trying to get him onto Twitter [CupofJim sounds so good for a Twitter name]. And here is why:
When Jim speaks, it is short and sweet. He has never been known for long, drawn out discussions. In fact him choking up about the gratefulness of the church while MC was going through her cancer treatment might be the longest I’ve ever heard him speak in front of a group.
Lately, as we introduce Jim to Facebook, we’ve noticed two things:
A. He has more friends then MC and myself combined
B. Every morning he has a little phrase for his Facebook status. Today’s status read this
Goooooood Morning Friends. Pray,Tea or Coffee. God will Always be there for all of us.
That’s it, there is no scripture, no devotional thread to a youtube clip, there is nothing. Just this bluntly simple thought.
God is there.
I’m a man of knowledge, or at least I try to be. I like Plato’s Republic, read textbooks, and am always up to date on road conditions in the area. I’m a nerd, plain and simple. Going to a theological college didn’t really help the addiction. Meaning, that I enjoy taking apart everything and analyse it for it’s worldly value [yes, try to blend that with Christianity...it's a mess, or as I like to name it: Baptist].
I say all of that because today, by pure accident of an innocent friend, I learned that KJ has moved on, and has formed a relationship with another man.
Stop.
Before you go into your tirade of, “She has moved on like you have, etc…”, let me clarify. Yes, KJ has moved on, just like myself. That part I understand and grasp as a mature, young adult. However, the part that hurts is listening to someone tell you, “I literally can’t live without you. You mean the world. I’d die if I lost you”, just to learn that really…you weren’t that special.
That’s what hurts. Knowing that to her, no matter what the words were, I really wasn’t that special to her.
So, when I learned of this news, I got rather bitter and worked it out with some U-8 soccer kids tonight at practice. Then I told MC that I had learned of that tonight, she had known for weeks at least, and was hesitant to tell me, not wanting to hurt me of course. Being a rock solid, protective mother.
“I’ve got this”, I could hear myself saying in the car tonight, trying to reaffirm that I’m strong [common phrase I said in June]. I just try to go to bed thinking to myself, writing in those ‘love letters’, that frankly, I am that unique to one person, that I am that special, that desired. I still hold faith that I do to someone out there, in time of course.
Now, back to Jim, there is a point to all of this. While fuming this evening over the news of that, MC was quick to respond with, “Jim has been irate all week since learning of it”, and I know that is what finally sent me over the edge. I’m a young male, I’m protective, I’m as loyal as they come. [subject line removed here] It’s not fair that Jim was happy with KJ, that he laughed at her oddities, and such…it isn’t fair that he was the one that was hurt out of this. I was betrayed, MC was worried about me, but Jim…the innocent one, he was hurt. So, while I’ve been chewing all of this over for most of the night, and slowing my heart rate down, and being distracted with Dur and K8..I’ve slowed down, taken a deep breath, said a quick prayer and realized something…
“God will Always be there for all of us.”
Thanks for the reminder Jim.
