Warning: This is a religious rant

-Repeating-

Warning: This is a religious rant

-Repeating-

Between the 1%, random blog entries, and everything else in between I’ve come to notice a pattern. Plenty of people enjoy to tastefully [or not] explain why they are not in favor of that whole ‘Christian thing’, and after reading some of the absolutely dumbest arguments [it's an insult to even define them as that] from the ‘fish followers’; tonight, since I’ve got plenty of time and I’ve got the right music running in my head, I feel like taking on the cultural rant, perhaps over turning some tables [not literally], and finally put an end to the ultimate question, “What doesn’t he drink?”

I think it is important to point out the completely obvious point at this to point [did you get that]. I do call myself, proudly I’ll admit [wait, is that a sin?], a Christian. By ‘definition’ of all things Holy I do fall into this lovely category, and guess what? I don’t regret it.

However, there are a few misnomers that I’d like to clear up about being under this label, life style, choice, etc…

1. I do not on any clothes, shoes, socks, or vehicles have a ‘Jesus fish’, also known as a ‘icthus’ [spelled wrong?]. Why? Because I can draw a fish if I’d like to, and historically it was a sign of safety during the persecution of Christian’s in Rome…A LONG TIME AGO! [thought it should be noted that a friend, who I will not name, does have a tattoo of one, and must admit, it looks sharp]
2. I do not hate homosexuals. I’d like to thank, curse, blame, point fingers, write nasty letters to Fred Phelps and the rest of the nuts at Westboro Baptist for this one [and everyone else who thinks homosexuality is contagious]. Listen, I’m not a fan; I don’t feel anything towards guys, just isn’t my thing. I don’t approve of it, and based off my beliefs out of the Bible, it’s considered a…ready for this…big word coming…sin [it should also be noted that in God's eyes a sin is a sin is a sin, and furthermore that, that same book explains that we're all sinners because none of us are perfect. I know, it hurt me too]. Just because I don’t agree, doesn’t mean I hate [and if any one of you have been 'holy rolled', I apologize].
3. I get angry. I mean come on! I’m Irish, what do you expect? Some people miss the fact that I have a short fuse [they learn quickly], since I’m a Christian I’m always to turn the other cheek. Right? You take me on the field and play soccer with me, I do not turn cheeks [except on penalty kicks].
4. I fail…daily. This is one of the most evident, and less spoken truths about being a Christian. Being able to admit that even once you become a Christian, you…still…screw…up. I…still…screw…up. Think of this; if I didn’t screw up, this site would never have existed.
5. Alcohol will not send you to hell. Now, I went to college at a private, dry, Baptist university in the Midwest. It was ‘dry’, why quotes? Because the physical campus was dry, and I can tell that in one night in October of 2008, across the street from the campus, I have no idea how I got home! I think there is something to be said about being drunk and making poor choices, though for some of us it doesn’t require alcohol to make poor choices, but a beer [within legal age, please] is not going to seal your soul. As for why I do not drink; a few reasons. A. It makes me sicker then you could ever believe. As in a bottle of Smirnoff gives my a massive migraine. B. I hate spending the money on the stuff. C. EMPTY CALORIES! I’m trying to lose weight.
6. I…do…not…judge. Small Print: If you act like an idiot, I’m going to assume you’re an idiot. Just keep that in mind. Frankly, I have a harder time walking up to a stranger and telling them that they’re doing something wrong, then walking up to a ‘brother in Christ’ next to me, and slap them for being stupid. Who am I to judge? I’m not. Be warned you fellow followers; we are told to ‘inspect each others fruits’, and I’m all about pruning.
7. I do not listen to The Gathers [nor will I ever]. I do listen to some Christian music, such as Pillar, Skillet, Kutless, TFK, and yes…even Switchfoot. However, don’t mess with my club music, or my DUB. If it lacks a beat, I’m not interested; and if involves a chamber choir, they better be angels in heaven when I hear them…just saying [plus some days I throw on my boots and listen to country...don't judge me].
8. I do not wear ‘Jesus sandals’, TOMS shoes, or fedoras. I wear sleeve-less t-shirts [home made, compliments of Subway monthly promotions], jeans, athletic shorts, and running shoes/cowboy boots. Mess with my Oakley’s, and feel my wrath. For some reason over the past decade or so, Christian’s got this notion that if they wore the shirt, supported the company, they were being Christlike. Just a thought; John the Baptist was close to being Christlike…HE IS REPORTED TO HAVE BEEN EATING LOCUSTS AND WEARING CAMEL SKINS CLOTHES,  SCREAMING IN THE WILDERNESS!  Just saying…
9. I drink Starbucks coffee. Yes, this is important. I understand that the price for my drinks can be…sad, but it is my luxury [and God still convicts me on it, daily]. I’m not into ma and pop coffee stops, Wednesday night poli/biblio bashings around a pot of Joe, and I do not drink coffee inside shops that sit next to book store that sit next to the sanctuary. Personal belief [personal], Jesus tossed a lot of tables in one temple because of products being sold for offerings. The higher ups were selling doves and such, being deemed ‘worthy sacrifices’ as it was still common to sacrifice an animal upon an alter. The problem was they were taking the money for themselves and taxing the people who couldn’t afford to have their own…WAY…TOO…MUCH. So, J-man walks in, furious as all get out, and starts flipping tables, grabs a whip, and sends out all the merchants. I’m not saying that’s what all churches do [there is a Subway in one of them, for great reasons as well], but it does make me unsettled because I don’t enjoy being grouped into hip, jive-turkey, no-shave November ignorance that plagues my generation of believers.
10. The love is real. For years I was preached at about ‘God’s love, God’s love, and…God’s love’, and frankly; I didn’t get it. It made absolutely no sense to me. However, in the most recent months [as some of you have gathered through here], most of my life was stripped away from me. Friends left, family got busy, and I sat alone in a dark, empty apartment without any windows. It was at that moment, the lowest of lows, that I remembered that butchered, over used verse, “God will only give you as much as you can handle”, and it was at that point that I could feel Him say, “It’s time to come home, you’ve had enough”. The next week I was offered my current job, and the rest…is history.