Mobile Minutes: Where There’s Smoke…


I felt guilt throughout the day because I wasn’t at church tonight. I had made the choice to stay home and finish my final for class instead of heading out.

Thankfully, as the demonstration below shows, God still works even when you’re not in church.

This all took place about ten minutes ago:

I had just finished a lesson for my unit when the cat (AKA The Dark One) got up from his nap, ears perched back. I too shut off the music and was trying to figure out what this buzzing noise was coming from. At first I thought it was our refrigerator, but the noise was actually coming outside the door. I opened the door to see smoke filling the atrium of our apartment. Out comes a man, holding his right arm, with a look of disbelief on his face.

What happened?

I had a grease fire…

So, first I kicked him out of his apartment. Made sure the stove was turned off (fire was out at this point, ceiling is black with smoke). He grabs his puppies (literally) and gets out. 911 gets called due to the fact that he had burns down his right arm and nearly his entire face.

I got him into my apartment, trying to get him to sit down (he was obviously in shock), and talked with the emergency dispatch until the ambulance and fire department showed up. They wound up carting him away to the emergency room, his grandpa picked up the puppies (because I know you were concerned about their well being), and the fire department deemed the apartment safe.

Incredibly, not a single neighbor in our building stepped out to see what was going on through the entire duration of the event. Makes me a little happier that I decided to stay home this evening.

-D-

XXXI: Not My Own


It’s 9:30 PM and I’m sitting in the living room eating tacos from the kitchen. i’ve just finished another anime episode and I fell asleep on the couch; requiring Darco to wake me up for bed. It’s been that kind of day.

Absolute exhaustion and trying times.

Yesterday was a mess. Between some student loan issues (imagine that), screwing up an assignment for class, and just a failure to adapt to the classroom, it was not a pleasant experience. I was in a rather foul mood last night by the time I left school, and I was hoping (and seriously praying) that today would be different. Thankfully, this was the case. I’m not stating that the day was perfect in comparison to yesterday, but I am going to say that God was able to change my mindset and expectations, so that I could work in an area I love with a more humble soul.

Twice, in the past six months, I’ve failed to gain a classroom position inside the school. The first time it created a horrible sense of bitterness internally, but in the end I had to accept the reality that I didn’t hold the legal requirements to teach. Why should I be mad at someone else for the mistakes I’ve made? With that memory in mind I was able to handle the news of potentially missing out on another classroom position this week. Through this process I started to see the pattern that I’ve become a hypocrite in front of my own students…

So many times I’ve complained about students having this sense of entitlement when they’re in school, “Well, I earned this.” or “Well, I deserve that.” can be heard as distant echoes down the hallway. It’s rather irritating to hear and very discouraging when thinking of what the future could hold for them in this very hostile, unfriendly world.

I say that while with the same mouth and mind I can hear myself saying, out of bitterness…

I’m mad because I’ve earned this opportunity…

I’m upset because I deserve to have this chance…

Doesn’t matter the age, the reality is the same. I’m no different compared to my own students. I have this horrible, worldly sensation that punctures my soul with greed. The truth is, is that I don’t even deserve the job that I currently have. The bitter reality is knowing that there’s nothing in these previous four years of life that indicate I even deserve the life that I’ve been given. Classroom? Trying deserving the wife I have, a supportive family, loving friends, a healthy life, etc…

Who am I to seek entitlement for a life I don’t even deserve?

it was a hard, bitter pill to swallow. Recognizing how fallen I am, and how dirty I’ve become. Realizing this is why it became easier to accept my position, cling to my school, and stop worrying about all the details and just live an enjoyable life. I can firmly say that, that in itself is a blessing that I’ve missed for years.

Maybe this is just another one of my random rants about life. i’ve missed out twice on the hopes of having a real classroom for the next school year, and I’m thankful that God’s prepared my soul to handle the understanding that sometimes His timing and our own for our lives don’t always match up.

I have to require my soul to be alright with understanding that I cannot be in control of my life.

It wasn’t my own to start with anyways…

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Jupiter’s Storm


What I’m learning…
I love my students. Middle school kids crack me up on a daily basis. They’re strange, but they’re a ton of fun and the energy level never ends. It’s a perfect environment for me.

Chaos, energy, and attitude.

Sadly, like everything in life (not just work related) there is a flipside to this scenario. There’s a daily temptation that roams the halls each day that I exist, this whispering little serpent that winds itself in and out of the classrooms. It’s wrapped up in drama, gossip, rumors, and in many cases nothing in favor for the students.

My biggest struggle, deepest prayer, and darkest fear all stems from not giving into the world that’s before me. I never knew that even with the enjoyment of students, a quagmire of personal fear thrives in such a safe haven of joy.

It’s a learning lesson for sure, and definitely something that’ll never go away. No different than Jupiter’s ongoing storm, this reality and educational moment will continue to spin.

Perhaps I just need a bit more sugar and caffeine in the morning.

-D-