XXXI: Stay Strange


I wish I could have found time earlier this week to type this post up, it’s actually been sitting in the reserves of my brain for a few days now. I’d love to blame the anime for this, but there’s more to the thought that I’m hoping to reach for in this post; it all revolves around one thought:

Stay. Strange. Continue reading

XXXI: Imaginative Epic Monologues


*tap, tap, tap…*

I’m supposed to type something here. I have plenty of random, worthless thoughts in my head but getting them organized to type is rather challenging I’m learning.

This week has been some funky, hazy experience of…well…I’m not really sure. From nightmares including astronauts exploding and having my eyes cut out with razor blades, to running to the point that my feet go numb (we’re sure that’s not normal) I’ve actually had a difficult time of separating reality from illusions of mental games.

Does that make sense? Continue reading

XXXI: Good Things End


All good things must come to an end…

Somebody once upon a time in history said that quote, and it seemed wise to use in today’s reality. It’s Friday, and for the first time in three weeks we have zero plans for the weekend. We’ve traveled the Midwest, gone to a night club, celebrated our anniversary, and just about everything else you can imagine in the past fourteen days. Continue reading

XXXI: Running Fuel


What gets you around the track? To lift the weights? The go the distance?

Fuel.

Not just the physical food context, but the mental drive to overcome the shortcomings that our mind places before us.

What is your fuel?

I try to envision the future, I try to dream of the impossible, and keep my feet moving one step at a time. However, eventually I grow tired and I begin to reach for hidden cheats, the known pieces of life that can drive anyone beyond the pain threshold.

Anger, bitterness, hate.

Using negativity to fuel the drive to overcome will merely place your name among those who have failed to ascend above God, Himself.

I still hate. I’ve covered it up, masked it the best I could, but it still sits there. Knowing that I’ll explore that dark world when the miles begin to add. Broken promises, bad relationships, failed marriages, and manipulated moments…I’m still a broken man that struggles with hatred. It’s not just the context of being frustrated, it’s the dark area of the soul where you swear by things unknown that you will rise over those who ridiculed, yelled, and walked away.

Only God could accept a man still struggling with hatred. Only God would allow a man to run, knowing each mile he’ll have the option of fuel.

Will destiny, faith, and humility ever guide my way? Am I too broken to get past what’s been destroyed? Will the hatred ever go away?

I don’t know, I really don’t. Darco knows my demons, and demonstrates patience each time they’re brought up. I can only pray that this is an assistant coach training an athlete to become self disciplined in the soul, as he is to be on the track.

-D-

XXXI: Pure Country


Wow…you really are short…

I warned her. I had warned Darco several times about my dad’s side of the family, the Daugherty Clan. This was always done in a fun, whimsical sense, but compared to her experience with MC’s family there is a stark, stark contrast between the two groups. MC’s side you go to brunch with…dad’s side…you get tattoos and talk about about trucks at the local honky-tonk.

I. Am. Not. Kidding. Continue reading

XXXI: Church Persona


I tend not to think of life in years as I do lifetimes. Currently, I’m on my third lifetime. I was watching some videos over at IAMSECOND, and one of the speakers brought up the point of not really understanding God’s grace until you release your church persona. It wasn’t until I heard that, that it really clicked with me.

In 2009 I was the model American Christian; I went to church, I knew scripture, I could maintain theological debates, I was in the right place. Two years following I gave up on the church image and walked away, hence the beginning of FilingThePapers.

Similar to the open road this has become my sanctuary, my reminder that God exists, that God is love, and that God cares about my repulsive, sinful soul. The rest of the world laughs at my mistakes, I personally tear myself down daily, but I can still wake up knowing God loves me for the flawed person I am. Continue reading

#getyourpraiseon


This is for the health nuts out there. Something that I’m experiencing first hand.

If you eat healthy, train, and aim to live a healthy life when you’re injured your body will make repairs quickly.

Today is the second day since the hamstring injury, but I can already flex my hamstring, walk, and have near full rotation of it.

That comes with a price though. My body knows it’s injured, no different compared to being sick. Because of this I’ve been at a level of exhaustion both days, and sleeping has been insane…

-D-

XXXI: Watching Space


You’re losing weight…you don’t stick out as much…

I love my wife, whether her comment above hurt or not, I still love her dearly. Perhaps it is because I’m a male that I have a fixation on the physical elements of life. Fitness, health, and the body. Nothing scientific, just the measuring point of where I stand in life. Honestly, I feel like my life has revolved around the physical glimpses of life as I’ve progressed through time. Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Hamming It Up


Hamming It Up

It’s the only positive phrase I could think of for the moment.

Across the street from the track that I train at is a rather large, paved hillside. It’s a street that isn’t too frequently occupied with moving traffic. Because of this, and looking at the need to continue to increase in strength and health; I felt today was a great day to concur the hill with some self-satisfying sprint work.

My body did not agree.

I haven’t “sprinted” 100% since my sophomore year of college. During which time I suffered a nasty hamstring injury (from not warming up mind you), and lived in fear of ever approaching that mark again. That was until today, after my first successful series on the hill I came down to refocus. I took off the second time and felt good, so good that without thinking I just kicked in another gear and started sprint up the hill… Continue reading