Mobile Minutes: New Pains


I finally hit the threshold of exhaustion today. I spent an hour running outside, followed by another hour in the gym. With the 94℉ heat you’d expect some tiring from being outside, but it was the elliptical at the gym that really caused me to question life.

I have no stride, and an elliptical is great for forcing you to have one. Near the twenty minute mark I was just moving to move. All my muscles were failing, sweat was pouring off my face, and I just kept repeating the same question:

Why am I running?

Only through exhaustion can I see a clear picture of dreams, desires, and prayers. Darco always asks me what I want to do that would be fun. My answer to her is the same as my daily prayer, I just want to run.
I want to fly down the track, and move with the breeze. I want to feel my legs firing in sync with a wild horse. I really have no clue my purpose for being placed on this earth, but this much I do know:

While I’m here, I’m going to keep running with my dreams.

image

Big thanks to ALO drink for always keeping the cramps away.

-D-

#getyourpraiseon


Ever curious about a quick, easy way to stop eating fast food?

Lose your job.

Actually, I’m pleased to report that my account was still on file with a school district that I was substitute teaching in last year. Meaning, after some quick paperwork I’m back in the game in the classroom. This in turn will also bring about the question, “Are you ever going to teach in a real position?” Only God knows that answer at this point, but I am definitely showing some praise for the fact that there is a temporary position available for me at the moment, in a district that I grew to love over last fall as well.

-D-

XXXI: More Papers


I’m typing this from my parent’s PC in the living room this hot afternoon in the Midwest. I should be typing this on my laptop, right? Yeah, I should except that, that laptop wasn’t mine to begin with, it belonged to the company that I was employed with.

Note: was

Earlier this afternoon I was notified that my services as a social media consultant were no longer needed as the businesses I worked with were “going in a new direction” by way of social media use. In other words, I didn’t fit the bill, I had worn out my welcome, and I was no longer needed.

Put bluntly: I was let go from my job this afternoon.

Just like a divorce, and other eventful, painful moments in life there seems to always be paperwork involved. I had to leave my signature along with an office key, laptop, and security device that allowed me into the office. I couldn’t write my name quick enough.

For a few weeks, very similar to the events that transpired with Subway in July of last year, I had the internal feeling that my time was drawing short within the company. I wasn’t involved in as many meetings, I was being asked what the passwords were for all the social media accounts, and other little hints that I was able to note that the end was coming.

Thankfully, I wasn’t completely caught off guard this afternoon. Darco was, as I’m sure I just made her shift at the coffee shop very stressful, but internally I’m quite well. The truth is that while I enjoyed this “dream job”, I don’t think that it was the dream for me. I enjoyed what I did, but I definitely wound up viewing it as a job, and not as something that I forgot I was doing for a job. Also, in light of ongoing conversations with Darco about running, this too ties into a delicate topic that we had discussed for the previous few weeks.\

Spiritually, I don’t see this as God saying, “You abused what I gave you, so I’m taking it all away.” Instead I find peace and excitement in knowing that gears are finally turning, and change is coming to our household. It’s hard to fight back the fears of paychecks, bills, and other ongoing problems, but where this door was evidently closed and this chapter secured; a new one is bound to open soon.

I’m pleased in the fact that the first thing I did after leaving the office was contact the former employee I worked under while subsitute teaching in a local school district. While I’m sure there is some needed paperwork for me to fill out, I’m quite confident that I’ll be back in the classroom within that district very soon. Darco is looking for promotion halfway through September, and while the paycut is indeed evident, if things go smoothly it’ll balance itself out quickly.

I understand that substitute teaching is definitely a short term fix to the immediate problem, so it looks like the resume I’ve been working on for a few weeks was a positive indicator and evidence that I listened to God. There’s a position that has opened up at a specific office that I’m interested in, so I’ll be sure to check that out as well. If nothing else, perhaps the third time is the charm. Twice now I’ve avoided full time teaching positions because something else has come up at the last moment, perhaps this’ll be the time where that cycle ends.

I’m not sure. What I do know for sure is that it’ll be nice not to work on a Twitter account 24/7 non-stop knowing that appreciation will never be given. The other blessing (big time), is that because of the decrease of the mental load, I can begin to focus more and more on my running curriculumn. I’m sure there are plently of readers that may their eyes while reading over these lines, but for future progression this is an important blessing to immediately recognize.

I’m not heartbroken or sad, I was scared for quite a while today, but the more I calm down the more I begin to realize how much of a real life blessing this really is.

-D-

Mobile Minutes: It’s Here


It isn’t pumpkin spice lattes…
It isn’t autumn leave scented Yankee Candles…
It’s the other thing…

…the seasonal cold…

I woke up at 2:00 AM, 4:00 AM, 6:00 AM, and 7:00 AM last night, knowing the sensation, my head hurt, my throat hurt, and the dreaded word drainage was taking place. I started the day with some fluids and hot coffee. It’s now near 2:00 PM and I’m fading fast. Not how I really wanted to start out the week, and I’m sure I contracted this from being at my parents house on Saturday. At first I thought that perhaps it was allergies, but the chills getting out of the shower this morning put everything in perspective.

I don’t want to be sick. I can’t be sick. I don’t have time.

Ugh…

-D-

XXXI: Stay Strange


I wish I could have found time earlier this week to type this post up, it’s actually been sitting in the reserves of my brain for a few days now. I’d love to blame the anime for this, but there’s more to the thought that I’m hoping to reach for in this post; it all revolves around one thought:

Stay. Strange. Continue reading

XXXI: Imaginative Epic Monologues


*tap, tap, tap…*

I’m supposed to type something here. I have plenty of random, worthless thoughts in my head but getting them organized to type is rather challenging I’m learning.

This week has been some funky, hazy experience of…well…I’m not really sure. From nightmares including astronauts exploding and having my eyes cut out with razor blades, to running to the point that my feet go numb (we’re sure that’s not normal) I’ve actually had a difficult time of separating reality from illusions of mental games.

Does that make sense? Continue reading