XXXI: Church Persona

I tend not to think of life in years as I do lifetimes. Currently, I’m on my third lifetime. I was watching some videos over at IAMSECOND, and one of the speakers brought up the point of not really understanding God’s grace until you release your church persona. It wasn’t until I heard that, that it really clicked with me.

In 2009 I was the model American Christian; I went to church, I knew scripture, I could maintain theological debates, I was in the right place. Two years following I gave up on the church image and walked away, hence the beginning of FilingThePapers.

Similar to the open road this has become my sanctuary, my reminder that God exists, that God is love, and that God cares about my repulsive, sinful soul. The rest of the world laughs at my mistakes, I personally tear myself down daily, but I can still wake up knowing God loves me for the flawed person I am. Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Time Trials

It’s nothing serious, I promise.

I’ve had my smoothie for breakfast (it’s not artificial stuff…it’s peanut butter [raw], two bananas, some almond/coconut milk blend, hemp protein, and ice). Ate my salad for lunch, and it’s nearly 4:00 PM and I’m starving! I’m currently the watchman at the office since everyone else is gone, that’s no problem, minus the fact that I’m wasting away. Continue reading

XXXI: Body Issues

I’m going to mark my spot for being in the .01% of the United States population. I have a very strong dislike towards a recent trending topic (besides Hobby Lobby), and over the week I’ve been trying to figure out how I should address it, how I should write, and what I really dislike so much.

After eating two hard boiled eggs, a container of pineapples, and leftovers from dinner last night I think I know where to start.

I cannot stand the ESPN Magazine: Body Issue Continue reading

XXXI: Strength

I get to play a rough game during the standard work week…

Wake up.
Quick protein bar.

I’m still trying to get used to the concept, but trust me when I say that it isn’t easy. Sacrifices are made, plans get rearranged, and planning ahead was never so important.

All for the sake of running. Continue reading

XO: Wandering Around

What on earth are we doing?

That was the question recently (this evening) posed to Darco in our living room. With ice on my feet, and a cat lurking along the couches, my wife and I have come to this strange paradox of the adult world…

We have no idea what to do.

The reality is that while we’re both very blessed with epic jobs; we find ourselves already in the routine of the standard, cultured sheep. We wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, drive home, work out, eat dinner, go to bed, repeat…

Every. Single. Day.

Dearest reader, please tell me that we’re the only two people on this entire globe that witness this strange sensational repetitiveness throughout the days? Even in my job, pouring through posts, tweets, and shares; the cycles are all the same. Monday is slow, the weekend is good for Client A, business is good Tuesday-Saturday for Client B, new ‘news’ for Client C is dropped publicly on Monday morning, etc…

You’re telling me; even in the ever-changing world of social media, there’s a pattern? This is why I stopped playing video games; I grew tired of the calculated, formulated, expected patterns that form within each piece of software.

When mankind less its ability to imagine, it welcomed in the ability to function in predictable cycles, and I am now one of them. Meal portions are weighed out, drinks are poured to their proper levels, bills are adjusted, prepped, and paid, and the alarm that’s set for seven days a week rarely, if ever, changes.

You can’t convince me that God intended His creation to live this way. Pinned up, programmed products of a cultural phenomenon that doesn’t condemn creativity, but assists in assuring that it doesn’t take place. Poets and painters have no reason to exist, and eventually handwriting will disappear completely. We don’t need to think, there’s drive-thru’s in place for us to do that instead.

My theory:
You have an imagination? Great, there’s an entire industry waiting for you to explore your possibilities and potentials. However, first you need to be sure to grab your four-year undergraduate diploma.
-Four Years Later-
Yes, you too have the proper documentation to fulfill the job requirements in this cubical for the rest of your life. If you work hard enough you too may be swayed by financial stability, and encouraged to finally put your dreams to rest.

Isn’t this what it’s all about in the end? CEO’s, board members, councils, and committees. Every move, action, idea, insult, and imaginative complex goes to benefit a few, for the harvesting of the many.

Am I really all that different? I type the day away to ensure that clients are happy; they’re happy by seeing a drop in costs and a raise in revenue. Darco works with coffee, selling a product to a consumer, in return for a wage that doesn’t match the job requirements, in order to benefit the shareholders of the organization that may or may not be in a semi-possible progress to monopolize an entire industry (thank goodness she’s got great dental insurance though). We’re bound by the ‘necessities of life’ within the confines of our daily atmosphere that in many cases we miss the fact that we’re only pieces on someones game board.

Perhaps I just drank too much coconut milk tonight, and these words aren’t my own. Maybe I didn’t get enough endorphin’s this evening and it’s allowing my brain to stir.

Maybe it’s just the fact that I have a hard time accepting a reality that I would be ashamed to go before my Father and say, “This is what I’ve done with the time and skills that You’ve given me”.

Maybe it’s just me.


Mobile Minutes: Changing of the Guard

Late night posts are always the best [though no one ever sees them].

After much debate, prayer, and guidance I’m pleased to announce that “XO” will be drawing to a close in June. Continue reading

XO: Divinity Debates

I got a ‘catch 22′ deal with my wife. After her becoming a follower of Christ, Christian, however else you’d like to describe it; she quickly filled the role of what I had missed at my time in college.

Religious debates. Continue reading