Try to understand my taste in music…

I know; it isn’t easy.

Check this out:
I’m the only one in the office tomorrow. Everyone else is quite literally out of town. So that’s 10,000 square feet, a lake, and myself for the entire day.
On top of that, Darco and I get to rock out at Bible study again tomorrow evening. Something that we’re both pretty pumped about.
Finally, by doing my favorite thing in the world [retweeting random things] I just nailed two free tickets to the band that is embedded above for tomorrow night in town at 9:00 PM!

Boom! Bam! Thank you ma’am!

That’s a day that hasn’t even started worthy of getting some praise action on!


XO: History Repeating

I’m sitting with Darco at dinner this evening. Storms off in the distance and greasy cheeseburger in my hand. We have been getting better about not always talking about work, and instead we were talking about religion, theology, and the Bible.

God’s sense of irony is never-ceasing.

Darco had made a comment in regards to Jesus hanging out with the worst of the worst when it came to the sinners. He chilled with tax collectors, and even had a conversation with a prostitute; not real common for the time [compared to today at least]. He rebuked the pharisees hardcore. He just didn’t tolerate the crazy, sinful desires of a hypocritical leader. That wasn’t His style.

That’s when it dawned on me…

I’m not Jesus.

Though I do strive to be like Him on a daily basis [only to fall short frequently]. I continued to think, and mull over the words that Darco had stated and history itself came back to visit.

What if…
Now go with me here…
What if…
The American Church has become the growing equivalent of the religious leaders of Jesus’s time. Pastors are kicking out members, members are shunning non-members, and money is quickly becoming a priority along with carpet color, organs, and stained glass windows.

Physical church bodies fuss with other buildings, and a town of 5,000 people may have 25 different churches. Something for every flavor of the people who refuse to get along. It’s a line drawn between youth and adult, guitars and pianos, baptisms and sprinkling. NIV and KJV are three letter words thrown around as theological profanity, and forbid that someone new walks into the building.

Move on.

This is the church. It isn’t Christ’s bride, it’s the reaccurance of a curse that He lifted two thousand years ago. The once lost and wicked are the ones tossing lots, heading accusations, and never understand that they haven’t changed from where they started. Allow Europe to be the example of where past follies lead in the religious sect. Show the haunting, empty, vacant corpses of stone buildings that string along the streets; never to be filled for worship again.

Where did the pharisees wind up? What happened to them? What was the outcome of them versus Christ?

I caution the American Church; heed history’s warning signs.


Mobile Minutes: Ministry Trials

It’s no secret. When we don’t see immediate gratification and results from our work, we can become tempted to quit. However when looking at this recent passage that I found on my Bible app, whatever it is called. I stumbled across this verse from Galatians 6:9-10. Basically I’ve viewed it as a reminder that when God calls you to do something be sure to do it with every intent of pleasing him. Because there will be moments, and I know these moments from the Kansas City Shock, that we’ll want to quit.

It’s vital, crucial that we maintain the fact BC and idea that we do not work for ourselves, but for One who is greater, and through Him will  we see the fruits of our labor.


Mobile Minutes: Adjustments

I took a nap this afternoon and I mean I woke up in a panic that I can’t even describe [those of who know how much I hate loud noises would understand this]. I jumped out of bed, hopped in the shower and just tried to wash off the panic…but I wound up scrubbing off so much more…

  • Doubt
  • Fear
  • Depression
  • Unknown
  • Faithlessness
  • Adultery
  • Idolatry
  • Laziness

It turned in to a period that I absolutely loved. My spiritual life in the past two weeks has been awful. I mean straight up terrible. I hadn’t read the Bible since…not sure. I was put off by this stupid marital counseling book that was suggested by Darco and I’s pastor [I mean...I really didn't like it], and my prayer life; the one thing I cling to usually, was in the dumps. Financial stress, along with job searching, the Kansas City Shock, North Point, etc…it just all piled up and I didn’t give it all up.

I’ve hurt Darco in recent days because of my attitude, I haven’t been focused on serving her, something I deeply regret. I’ve let myself go physically; it’s bad, and I dream of doing so much but I’m not allowing God in to do anything. After all, it isn’t about me; right?

We’re going to make some adjustments after tonight’s Kansas City Shock BBQ. I’m revamping this site, adding some content on the headers and building a YouTube page. This site isn’t any longer about me surviving a divorce, it’s about moving on, growing stronger, and focusing on life now and focusing on love now and dreams now and fitness now…it’s about the now.

I think it started with this piece on one of our players this morning. Personally, because I give thanks to the MoVal family and I haven’t lived up to my expectations.

Let’s retake this city.


O: Irritating Scars

MC has a scar…

I mean like Frankenstein style…like…she’d challenge Kevin Ware stitch-for-stitch [too early]; it was an old surgery wound from her glory days on the hard court in college. Yes, MC was a baller…and then some.

Either way eventually, while going out of bounds to save a ball [in the 70's], she landed…awkwardly…and something within her knee just tore to shreds [I'm still claiming an unknown ACL tear...but that's history].

Anyways, even after the surgery to this very day that scar still hurts. It’s doesn’t matter if someone touches it, the weather changes, whatever the case may be…that scar still hurts. Anyone who has deep scars can relate to the reality that MC has lived with for nearly…40 years now?

There is a reason for this intro story, as you can imagine it is themed around the concept of scars. I revisited mine today.

What I’m getting ready to state has nothing to do with any specific organization, but more so of the realization of my own life.

Today was a unique experience; since officially becoming a member at MoVal I sat in the first ‘vision casting meeting’. Basically this meeting was an attempt to discuss what was taking place down the road, and the future of the church [plus some great food]. The honor of being able to be in the session, while overseen by some perhaps, was a great experience. That doesn’t mean it was easy. There came a part of the meeting where there were some discussions on certain positions within the church, as outlined in Acts and 1 Timothy. When I say that MoVal is a Biblical based church; I’m not kidding. We’re talking that the Greek version of the New Testament was broken out during the meeting. It’s refreshing to know that the only ‘doctrine’ that I have to jack with is the only true doctrine that exist [nice change], but with that comes the reality of what is held within the pages.

I’m going to skip all the details and just say this:

Due to the fact that I’m a Christian, and a divorced one; divorced while I was a Christian [not prior]. Because of this fact, there are some things that I cannot be within the church. The realization of that isn’t…painful…it’s understanding why that is. I could spend all day making excuse after excuse, but honestly? I’m not game for arguing with the Bible.

Consider this my scar. Thorn in my side? Burden? Not sure, but the understanding that as much that is right with my world…that element of my life will always be there.


O: Deut. 20:4

Fascinating how one direction of a thought, can turn into a whole different concept.

While writing this earlier post; I decided to use Deuteronomy 20:4 for a case in point. Then I started to reread the same passage; over and over and over and…over.

That’s when the hypocrite in me spoke up and said, “Pay attention to these words”. Anyone who is anyone deals with enemies; and for the sake of this post I do not mean the standard jerk next door, bully in the hallway, etc…I’m talking about stuff along the lines of real enemies:

Fear…doubt…all that stuff. The intangible things that we can’t necessarily put a finger on, but they plague our mind…often daily.

Those are enemies.

So, I’m reading this passage, a quick verse…noting the verses around it [for sake of context] and while I hate using cheesy, ‘Christian lingo’ this verse just unknowingly spoke to me.

For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.

Consider it…soothing for me. This notion that I have fear, doubt, and I worry about so much and there is this dude that sits around and says, “Seriously, son? Please.” He’s that cool, He’s that just, and man alive He’s just that…powerful.

Puts my problems in perspective quickly. So you know what I’m going to do?

Simply this:

I’m going to reread this flipping sweet verse, relax, and sit back and get ready to watch the fireworks…

Because oh man…are they coming.



Mobile Minutes: Phil. 4:13

So…perhaps this is a bit edged…but I’ve got a challenge:

On Twitter bios; frequently with professional, college, high school athletes we find the simple abbreviation:

Phil. 4:13

I get it. I know it. I can repeat it in my sleep. My question?

Show me the athlete that has a different verse.


Deuteronomy 20:4

Just a random thought.


O: Lost In Communication

It’s the weekend; as stated before, I’m working through the week, and that’s alright.

I’m just spending time lost in communication.

I’m still working on a “O” draft, but for now I just want to type a bit. I’m not tired, full of sleep, and have a wonderful evening planned with my girlfriend, MC, and Jim. however, the mind never stops, it’s a raging machine always looking for answers. My girlfriend, being ever-so-supportive is always telling me not to worry, don’t stress, “God will take care of it”, and I instantly notice how easy it is to preach to someone that God has it under control [not a shot at her, but in regards to myself] and yet when it comes time for you to show your faith, and let Him have control…it feels impossible.

We were eating breakfast at IHOP a few days ago, since everything else was closed in town due to the snow, and we were talking about stress, fears, and the unknown.

From the innocent, young adult side; the Kansas City Shock is one of the scariest things I’ve ever been a part of. It’s “faith 101″, you have to have it to survive. There is literally no guarantees with anything in this business; something is changing on a daily basis, and I’m always in fear of making the wrong move.

More notably I see what lies down the road, what’s “next” for our program and I know the requirements that need to be in place, but I’m not always sure how they’re going to come about. It’s a horrible, gut-wrenching feeling. Until you take a deep breath, step back, and watch some of the things that have transpired:

  • Didn’t get the home field we wanted; ended up wrapping up into a brand new facility instead
  • Hype? Not a ton, but being able to speak at entrepreneurship conferences in Kansas City can quickly change that
  • Not knowing how to enter the program into the league; the immediate fans changed all of that
  • The group of people within the city, and within the country that send messages of encouragement
  • The talented graphic design company that was created out of nothing, but whom I’ve known for my life during college and beyond
  • Immediate player issues, and when looking back it has become a filter process for the dynamics of the program
  • Getting the news press left and right? No, instead we’re tapping into the younger, up-and-coming journalists within our area

Most of that took place in a few days time span, and of course that’s only a tip of the iceberg.

This is where it becomes hard; you start to doubt, you fear you’re in the wrong direction, and then suddenly…out of nowhere, this presence takes over and shows you something that immediately just happened without you realizing. A nugget to just hold you over and keep you patient; like manna and quail.

I guess, even though I screw up, doubt, and don’t always rest easily; in the end I can only ask this…

…whom shall I fear?