Tag Archives: church

O: Unspeakable


I’m just in awe.

I mean…mind being blown doesn’t even describe.

I’ve been searching for words for this post most of the day. The home opener for the Kansas City Shock is May 25th, 2013 at Kansas City Kansas Community College. There have been several bumps along the way, especially as of late, but in the past week…God is just doing something…amazing. Something only He can do. The nice part about my life is being able to sit back and knowingly not be able to take credit for what is taking place. From sponsors, to airfare for players, to practice fields, to things that I never even dreamed up…this week has been incredible. Unbelievable I even had someone tell me, “We’d like to work with you, because we believe God is doing great things in your program.” I mean…wow…mission field? Found!

As I stare out the window this evening, watching the lightning flash all around it is the most comforting feeling in the world to know you’re exactly where God wants you to be. There’s no denying, no describing it, you just know…and it never gets old. I think God almost enjoys thinking, “Alright, he is waking up. What can I do today that’ll just blow him away?” I’m pretty sure that’s how He works, and He gets a kick out of it too.

The Kansas City Shock is rocking and it’s been a blast. Honestly, today was one of those days that I even forgot the concept of how or why this website was ever created. Unfortunately, that realization was short lived this evening. My girlfriend is known to wander throughout the Facebook world [no, none of us are safe], and had looked up my ex-wife. Now, due to the restraining order from a few years ago, I stay out of it and away from any of it. That, and really, I don’t care. However, as my girlfriend said tonight, “I was just curious on getting an idea of who you were before we met” [she's curious like that]. Repeatedly I had asked her to stay off my ex-wife’s Facebook page, but I quickly learned that if she wasn’t sharing information with me [that I didn't want to know], other people around me were doing so instead.

She beat everyone else to the punch tonight. There we were, heading to dinner after church, she had brought up the Facebook page. That turned into an argument, she left it alone, and then she started crying. Now, my girlfriend, as special as she is…is not a crier. That’s not her style, so this had me confused.

She had a seizure. I just feel really, really bad for her.

That was the only phrase that could come out of her mouth while traveling down the interstate. My ex-wife’s mother has had a neurological disorder for some time, resulting in seizures and even a few strokes…at a very young age. I’m speculating, but it sounds as if that neurological issue has been passed down. My girlfriend went on to explain that it happened in the school lunchroom where she taught. From the education background, I can’t imagine how fearful that must have been for everyone.

The car was quite while I mulled over this information, trying to think about my reaction to this news, and that’s when I blurted it out:

I. Don’t. Care.

Harsh words, and sadly I meant them. I didn’t care. The anger and bitterness from years past came flaming back into life as I went on a small fit asking if she cared that I was homeless, if she cared that I was broke, broken, and worthless, if she cared that I was absolutely nothing. Frankly, they were the childish rants expected from a bitter individual [though not necessarily Christ-based]. We remained silent until pulling into IHOP. Hoping to drown the thoughts in the most awful tasting iced coffee I’ve ever had, my girlfriend and I talked about every other topic under the sun…myself trying to ignore the knowledge that I had gained in the past hour.

Finally, after the evening was over, working some business angels and watching the storm roll in; I just sat, quietly. Trying to understand my stance, my anger, and bitterness. How could I rationalize it? Why would I rationalize it? I have the right to be angry right? I have the right to harshly and unfairly think “that’s what you get”, right? With the falling rain I was remembered of the phrase that started it all.

Dare to be different. Shock the world.

If I allowed myself the pleasure of enjoying the heartfelt struggles of those who passed me by to my own demise, how is that being different from our societies standards? How is that different from our cultural norms? It isn’t, and if it isn’t different from the standards of the world then it isn’t within the realm of what God expects from me as a loving, Christ-centered, individual. Jesus, no matter the person, would never act in such brash, boastful ways. What would dare make me think I was better then Christ?

I claim it as human pride, a serious error on my behalf, but I’m still upset about being hung out to dry. I’m upset with being abandoned and condemned. It’s a hard pill to swallow. However, that doesn’t allow me to view a hurting person in any different light then compassion that is expected.

So, though this information and these thoughts go in places that I’ll never understand; it’s worth noting that while I’m still conflicted with bitterness. My heart still aches for her, her family, and yes…her husband. I can’t imagine the fear, the heartache, and the unknown that they all must be encountering. I’m not sure if God counts it, but while I still struggle, somewhere in the rolling thunder tonight I’m still praying for my ex-wife’s recovery and healing.

-D-

 

 


#getyourpraiseon


MoVal is killing it today. God is blowing the doors off this place.

It’s great to be home.

-D-


O: Loveland


Once upon a time there was a town named Loveland, Colorado.

Alright, it’s true, it’s still there.

In 2002, I along with seventy some odd other teenagers descended on the town as a ‘youth mission team’.

Note: I cannot express to you the irony of the phrase ‘youth mission trips’

In our duration in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains we hosted ‘backyard Bible clubs’ during the day and ‘block parties’ during the night (insane amount of Baptist-speak in that statement).

One specific night; probably a Thursday, we were hosting one of the larger neighborhood parties. The cotton candy machine was running, snow cones were everywhere, and the stage was set for an eventful, warm, Colorado evening.

Then the clouds started to gather. Off to the south, along the foothills of the mountains a storm was gathering. You couldn’t see the lightning, but you could hear the rumbles of thunder. The storm grew in size, gaining speed and strength. While this was going on, a group of wiser [more mature] people from the trip were in a corner of the lot praying. I kid you not, for all the teenage hormones, and crushing that I did that week I never forgot this moment…

With lightning now dancing across the sky, the wind picking up, and the thunder coming in over the voices of the people it looked like the show was going to be called for the night. Then suddenly, as the sun started to fade behind the thunderhead, the clouds shifted drastically to the east…and not a drop of water fell on that event.

Of all the random trips, and events that I witnessed in high school, this moment stayed with me to this very day. Now I know why. Even when all seems lost, we’re backed into a corner, and the very light…the hope…that we’re desperately holding onto looks to be fading away…

That’s when the impossible happens.

That’s where hope comes alive.

I tell this story, as I did to my girlfriend in the car tonight, because it illustrates the point that I was able to humbly realize last night. Things are hard right now, really hard, but even today when I ran across one of our players…that joy, that excitement, that hope just solidified my rationalization for what we’re doing. This is my mission field, and this is where my hope shall lie, and this is where my God shall dwell.

-D-


#getyourpraiseon


Today I requested an archive of my Twitter account since its creation (in 2009 for those curious). Even through +33K 140 character tweets it is amazing to see the progress of life. It snowed today, I’ve been running everywhere because I’m employed. I’m writing presentations because I’m part of an incredible organization. I get to experience all of this in a very unique, beautiful area of the world, and spend some very precious time in a church in the middle of nothing. I have a beautiful girlfriend that is attached to me, and refuses to let go…no matter what. I live on my own, with supportive parents just down the road, and frankly:

I’m loving life like God has loved me.

Get your praise on!

-D-


Mobile Minutes: Family Time


I spent the evening with MC and Jim tonight, at their house. It’s be scheduled [sad, but true] for about the past week. Living only fourteen miles away from them makes it that much worse. Shame on me for not doing more, you know?

Tonight was just a hard night. I wanted to talk about soccer, the Kansas City Shock, and everything else that’s gone on in the past two weeks, but the truth is: I hadn’t sat down with my parents over a meal in over a month. Again, we only live fourteen miles apart. I tell that crew with the Shock that family always takes priorities. With so many parents in our staff, it’s important to know and accept that family is always a priority. That is a page I took from my divorce; I solemn reminder.

The error that I made in that judgement call wasn’t the realization that family is important, but realizing that my family is important. I’m not married, I do not have children, and most of my family I don’t even communicate with. However, I am my parents only kid; period. I knew very little about their lives in direct relation to church as of late, I wasn’t aware of some employment discussions going on, I had no idea…I didn’t communicate. I didn’t know that help was requested for resume reviewing, I wasn’t around. Regardless of what MC thinks; I’m not that busy, my job isn’t that grand, and I’m not always on the go.

As I try to fall asleep tonight, this is my rule: If I tell someone that family is important, I better be able to back that thought up with my interactions with my own. My family deserves better.

-D-


Mobile Minutes: Steel


I listened in church today.

No, that isn’t uncommon.

However, between the baby’s crying and the child behind me puking [poor thing!] there were plenty of distractions to keep my eyes and ears away from the attention on the stage.

It was about the new year, it was about steel, and of course it was all about God.

It isn’t necessary to go into the entire lesson of today’s explanation of Scripture, but I must admit that I felt convicted. I felt out of tune. I felt as if I wasn’t doing enough to focus my attention where it should be: God.

Sure, in front of a camera [I hope] I’ll display and announce where my loyalty lies. The Kansas City Shock only exists because of God’s grace [that better be on my tombstone]. And, I would hope that I would put the same thoughts on this page at any given moment.

But what about the mind? What about the areas that people can’t see, that only God can reach. What lies in there? The frustrated guy about sponsorship’s, the questionable guy that’s curious about recent events in the women’s soccer world, the boy that sometimes finds himself just lost between meetings and freeways. There is a soul that still doubts.

That, I am ashamed of.

I think it is natural [remember, since the fall of man humans without the grace of Christ are inherently sinful] to try to take charge, to be in control, to lead. However, where does our leading constantly lead to? Failure. Demise. Hopelessness.

The season is quickly approaching, and some areas I don’t have nailed down yet. Am I alone? Nope. In fact, I bet there are programs way, way in the back of the pack. However, in the recent month, especially when being sick; I just wanted to control everything, let my mind do the work, and let my effort prevail.

That isn’t how God works. He isn’t all about the ‘human pride’ complex. Even this weekend, I made a business mistake. I won’t go into details, but it was a mistake none-the-less, and I can’t ‘fix it’. It could have been avoided, but only if I would have slowed down, thought out the process, and most importantly: focused more on God, then my ‘works’.

Our pastor compared a lot of these thoughts to steel, hard steel and soft steel [he works in a steel plant]; soft steel has potential, but hard steel has to be heated up and made soft before it can be used.

I was hard steel. God had to ‘turn it up’ on me to get me to soft steel [reflect to the beginning of this site if you need clarity for that]. I don’t want to be hard steel, I don’t want to revert back to the life I had. It’s a daily fear. Every time I make a mistake, especially along the business front, I grow fearful that I’m becoming ‘hard’ again. If I upset my girlfriend, the same fear comes in.

I firmly believe that God can use me, and I can see the path that it’s on. Trust me, I dream at night of the day that people look at the Kansas City Shock and just say, “Something great is behind that program.” I know it is possible, I’ve seen too much already to not believe it, but I also know that my mistakes, my flaws can get in the way of His glorious plan.

In my world; it’s so, so much more then a game, even a business. It’s more than a field. A sponsor. Even the players. Personally, it’s about finding the area that God wants me in, in order for Him to demonstrate His greatness.

Consider this post…just honesty.

-D-


Mobile Minutes: Sunday Salvage


It was a day…
The last half wasn’t too bad; I’m now getting ready for bed. The morning was a different story. I’d love to go into details, but that’ll be for another day.
Currently, I’m tired and curious of the chaos that is going to ensue this week.

Chaos. Good news.

-Flynn- “Trin: Legacy”

-D-


#getyourpraiseon


image

From athletic shorts and t-shirts, to Kyle rocking the full suit.

Did you know just over a year ago these two pews contained myself and that was it.

This age group is now spilling over into the second pew…

Get. Your. Praise. On!

-D-


Guatemala: Day 2


Greetings,

I’m grateful that my body clock allows me to respond to dogs barking and horns honking as a cue to get up. I awoke in a strange world, farm land outside my window, best house in the morning. I stared off to the mountains in the distance and I thought to myself:

Welcome to Guatemala.

I stumbled down the stairs, after a lovely hot shower in our bathroom on the fourth floor [con: no internet that high; pro: best seat in the house view-wise]. After trying not to freak out about getting the bathwater in my mouth [for fear of sickness]. Breakfast was…Americano [aka cereal and pop-tarts], being safe for the stomachs. For the first time in literal years, I gave my first devotion to the group. Simply asking them what their drive was for being here. Where their passion was. What their reason was for being over 1,000 miles away from home. Vacation? Tourism? Something more? I spoke about my passion, the draw, from the beginning of this site last July, to Darco, to life as a whole. I think they responded well, just always hitting the idea and concept of constantly keeping yourself in check for the reason you’re located where you’re located and why you’ve chosen to be there.

Afterwards we headed into the market place in El Quiche. Out there, the orphans from Casa De Mi Padre and our lovely translators gathered with us and we hit the streets; talking of God, soccer, and our activities for the week. I saw live chickens, dead chickens, live dogs, and past our drunks. Sunday morning was all about the market for this town located in the mountains. The youth in our team went up to the fountain [ironically that of an old Mayan idol], and started making balloon animals for all the children that flocked to the scene.

Roaming through the streets of Santa Cruz, Del Quiche.

I must admit that it was heartbreaking to see all these children roaming about the  market selling anything from shampoo to gum, just trying to earn money for their family [and in hopes of being able to eat]. You want to just give them all your money, but at the same time; you knew better.

While in the market place I was the ‘watch tower’ for the group. Truthfully, due to insane height advantage I have over the common person; I could easily find our entire crew in a moments notice; including the orphans when needed. We walked through the market, I enjoyed catching up the on Euro Cup, including gloating about Spain tying Italy [which I quickly learned is NOT something to do in Central America; still a bit sore about the whole invasion thing]. I was able to see the youth working with so many locals, just explaining to them of the reasons of why we’re here, and what we have to share with him. Encouragement doesn’t even begin to describe.

Afterwards, we had lunch back at the hotel, and headed out to two back-to-back church services. The first was in a small place, that used to be a garage. A new roof [tin and aluminum sheet] has been installed, and the A/C wasn’t working. Packed house of course, especially when the ‘gringos’ take up half the building, and I was  ”wise” enough to sit directly over the one hole to which the sun shined directly on my neck.

I thought I was going to die.

Maria, one of our translators nearly fainted next to me, and the elevating heat nearly did us in. We were able to find out how the translation process would take place on stage [important for Day 3]. Small sentences, easy words; frequently pauses. After about ninety minutes, we said are farewells and headed across Del Quiche [I have since been corrected on the name of town of 40,000 people] to another church.

What wasn’t planned was the dinner that we arrived to at the second church. The ladies within the church prepared us a dinner of corn, rice, potatoes, carrots and our choice of beef or pork stuffed with…other things. Truthfully, the meal was absolutely fantastic, though at this point through way of heat; I had already created a rather nasty headache and was praying for rest…and sleep…and high power medication. Also, because of my curiosity and Majo’s [translator] poor guidance and peer pressure, I found myself inside a store getting ready to purchase a glass bottle of Pepsi.

I was charged 8 Q’s [currency]. I paid for it with 10 Q’s, got my change and left. It was later at night that I learned everyone else who wasn’t a red head in a dress shirt and slacks, paid between 1-3 Q’s for the same beverage.

Yep, I had been had by a kid half my size [and probably age]. It was at this point I decided that the translators were my security blanket and I would not leave a group without them by my side; either Marco, Majo, or Becky. After dinner worship service dos started up; this concrete block of a building was nice and cool, but the common audience must be the average age of 101 because the music was insanely loud. I mean, we’re talking a rock concert but with hymns from books of the 1880′s [bit tongue and cheek there]. So, after my ears had been destroyed, we packed up and headed back to Hostel Santa Maria. By this time I had received some much needed medication for my head. We had a short worship service downstairs of the hostel, and then went our different ways to our rooms. I stopped and talked to Marco, Majo, and Becky; outlining the events for the next day; as day three was focused on this random soccer clinic, and I hit the sack. I was nervous about the next day, not sure how many people would show up, and if the rain would hold off. So many questions, so many prayers, and like that; day two was in the books.

-D-


Mobile Minutes: Table Tossing


I’M SO SICK OF PEOPLE ARGUING INSIDE THE CHURCH! GET IT TOGETHER!!!!!!!

…be back later, busy flipping tables…

-D-


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