XXXI: Watching Space

You’re losing weight…you don’t stick out as much…

I love my wife, whether her comment above hurt or not, I still love her dearly. Perhaps it is because I’m a male that I have a fixation on the physical elements of life. Fitness, health, and the body. Nothing scientific, just the measuring point of where I stand in life. Honestly, I feel like my life has revolved around the physical glimpses of life as I’ve progressed through time. Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Dreaming of Architecture

Sometime back I had posted a dream that I had about walking in a city that I had never seen before, and living a life in it that I had never lived. While I’m still yet to understand that context, I did stumble across these designs for a new apartment complex in the Crossroads District of Kansas City, Missouri (it’s been a very, very long time since new apartments have been built there).















These are both courtesy of KEM Studio design in Kansas City, Missouri. For the city of my dreams…I’ll just keep dreaming.


XXXI: Elite

Currently: Into the evening ritual that includes laying my feet upon pieces of ice for twenty minutes at a time. This can only mean on thing…
…story time.

While I’m stuck on the couch for the next hour-or-so, there was a story that came to mind that felt needing to be shared with you, the reader. A bit of a taste of what “XXXI” is about, its strange intent, ideas, and images. Sadly, it tends to revolve around one word that, over the years, I have grown to strongly despise: Elite. Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Upcoming Excerpt

It’s 13 days away, but I’m getting super pumped for the next chapter of FilingThePapers [that and I'm sick of cleaning things up]. So, tonight I figured I’d provide a taste of what the next two years may have in store for the reader [and give you the fair opportunity to jump ship now]. Enjoy… Continue reading

XO: Be Still

With just a month remaining in “XO”, it’s taken me this entire time to get a full grasp over the idea, concept, and learning that took place over this duration of life.

What have I learned?
What I’m doing right now.
Being still.

Darco is asleep, the cat is watching the window, and I can hear the bugs outside. It’s peaceful, with the lowly hum of the refrigerator and the gentle typing of my fingers on the keys. This is being still in my world. Sure, the brain still move 100 MPH, and my Tweetdeck currently is loaded with 14 non-stop flowing feeds of information that runs 24/7. I love it though; I love that passion and work can be combined into a blessing of a job. I’m thankful that I can get up from the couch, brush my teeth, and crawl into bed next to the world’s most beautiful woman [by the way, did you see her incredible, physical transformation]. It’s epic to know that I’ll wake up, shower, make my smoothie, and start another brand new adventure in the morning. The stress, drama, and other sleepless thoughts have been put to rest. My wife is sleeping, the refrigerator is full of food, and the cat is frequently fed. How can you not enjoy a life like that?

From recent Bible study experiences, to Sunday School, and even church itself; once I pushed my pride aside, I’m finally warming up to our new ‘home’. A place that we don’t just visit on Sunday mornings, but somewhere that can be a place of peace throughout the week.

Bills get paid, supplies gets purchased, and deadlines are met. Slowly but surely we’re digging our way out of the debt that we’ve (I’ve) slipped into over the years.

Dearest reader; life is good.

I’ve done my traveling, ran a business, failed a business, found a church, left a church, found a new church, lost an old hobby, found a new hobby, and continue to dream about tomorrow. My heart is still and my soul is alive; I feel freedom within range of my spiritual reach.

Living in the city is no longer a real dream, and for the most part I have no desire to ever own a business again. I enjoy the silence, I enjoy nature, outdoors, and spending time with¬†my family. I dream of children, school districts, and random events every night of the week. I know someday I’ll be reliving life a few years ago, only it’ll be our children doing the participating; I’ll just stand at the side and cheer. That’s a beautiful life, that’s something to dream about, that’s a reality worth pursuing.

However, tranquility hasn’t quite set-in at this point. A new chapter begins; the longest one I’ve kept. Prayer has been pumped into this, and it’s the first chapter I’ve actually mentally prepared for. It’s going to be a unique journey, and many will deem it “impossible”, but none of us will know until the time has come.

So, as this season draws to an end, it’s nice to rest, reset, and recover a life that’s been worn rather thin. It’s a blessing to be able to ‘be still’, and realign life with the true leader of your heart. Times will change, and new events will come, but for now, for tonight; I’m going to count these past three years a crazy blessing, close my eyes, and dream about tomorrows cup of coffee.


Mobile Minutes: Changing of the Guard

Late night posts are always the best [though no one ever sees them].

After much debate, prayer, and guidance I’m pleased to announce that “XO” will be drawing to a close in June. Continue reading

XO: I Am No One

I am no one…

…and it feels great.

I was running last night through some rural roads while a storm system passed through; creating a delightful [and cold experience]. Upon my return back to the starting position of the adventure it started to sink in…

I am no one…

However, in past experiences this would be met with doubt, guilty, pity, and a plethora of other mentioned terms that’d make me feel sorry for myself, yesterday was not that experience.

I am no one…

Over the past two years I received exactly what I wanted, I got a taste of the spotlight, and I accepted the pressures of life before me. I tried, I failed, and then I was brushed off and led onto a new path. I love my life; I have an awesome wife and an incredible job. Imagine, I sit at a computer all day finding ways to market products and services through social media. I practically live on Twitter and Google+, how cool is that? My wife has become a health nut, of which I love her even more because of it. We travel, work on new projects, pray for her promotion, and watch life evolve before us.

I am no one…

I am not a successful businessman, entrepreneurship really isn’t my thing; even though I find the process fascinating. I love to type, dream of writing, and get wrapped up in new, creative ways to market new ideas and dreams. I wasn’t really designed to be in the spotlight, the preacher, teacher, businessman, or anything of the life. I enjoy being behind the scenes, staying quiet, and operating life from the stroke of the keys. How different is that from a piano player? I read books, run outside, and drive throughout the country between work and home. There are dreams of fitness, and hopes of health; knowing that one will always compliment the other. I hang out with my best friend, she’s everything to me and I couldn’t have dreamed up a better life partner. We’ve witnessed tragedy, disappointment, and many sleepless nights, but God never left our side. We’ve cried for repentance, and wept when hope felt lost, but each morning we’d wake up knowing that He was still in control.

I’m trying to live a reality and a dream I had years upon years ago; simple truth of being less so God can become more. It’s taken hard lessons, and painful realities, but as time progresses scars do really heal. My blood pleasure is lowered, and sleep comes rather easy these days. More time is spent with family, and after 7:00 ¬†each night social media world gets placed on hold for the next morning. There are dreams and ambitions, many tasks I hope to accomplish, and bigger adventures that lie beyond the current path.

With that said though, no matter the event that lays before me, or the path that is taken, I am so much more comfortable hanging out in the shadows, being more quiet compared to loud, and learning to put pride aside and understand what ‘me’ is really about. The idea of ‘me’ is merely pride, accepting that the importance of life revolves around yourself. It’s a dangerous place to be as a Christian, and it become hard to keep your tongue controlled. Thankfully God is good, a loving Father that always rescues His kids every time that they’ve fallen. In recent months I’ve fallen hard, and it’s hurt, and it caused pain, but at the end the lesson learn was understanding that when the sun sets, when the sun rises, I have to always uphold to a holistic truth:

I am no one…


XO: Nouveau Parfum

This has nothing to do with new perfume.

However, if you haven’t done so already, you must take a look at this music video [it's an actual music video]:

Now, first the song is absolutely beautiful. I don’t understand the language at all, but I am simply captivated by the song…it’s hard to put on a finger on exactly what it is. I’m going to say that it’s the crescendo of passion and volume, mixed with the piano in the background. It’s soothing, yet motivating.

Secondly and probably the most evident part would be the video itself. Now, this video actually took eight hours to shoot and five different wardrobe changes by Boggie [the singer]. The implication that software can perfect anything is evidently and most notably the conversation topic at hand. I know that I’m not popular with the topic, but after watching the video too many times I’ve come to the conclusion that my stance, while not opposed, does not necessarily go along the same line.


See, this is something that people who were of the ‘normal crowd’ of life have failed to understand for over twenty years now. The whole secret of technology isn’t about power, weapons, beauty, and every other vain topic within the world…for many, it’s the escape.

Side Note: I’ve got this video stuck on repeat for some reason…

Maybe it’s the idea of being able to escape, to turn off, turn around, and leave. Perhaps that’s why I’m obsessed not with sleeping, but with dreaming, because even though chaos ensues it can still be a drastic transformation from the world that I currently dwell in. My mind already manipulates the world around me, dreaming merely makes it that much closer to a reality.

Perhaps it’s an addiction? You know, everyone needs that smoke, or that last drink, maybe for me I just need that screen, the glow of the keyboard, the strumming of the keys, and the recognition that out here I can be whoever I want to be. I’ve even noticed that it’s created this subculture fear in me of meeting people one-on-one in real life; I’d rather be on a stage, or on the computer. If you’ve called me before you know that I’ll rarely answer…if I answer. I am the most social anti-social person you meet.

But when my fingers touch the plastic keys…life changes. Suddenly processors and brain computing run hand in hand, I play the game of how fast can the computer run, and can my fingers keep up with my brain. Many times, they cannot [I've learned via this site actually]. This is why it’s alright for me to have never been a stellar athlete, because technology, social media, the digital world…it’s all the great equalizer. It levels everything out, and shows anyone and everyone that those who know how to use their minds can run the advantage.

Does that make sense?

Think of it this way, in the past month my newest projects that I’ve thought up:
-A computer mouse that is integrated with your hand
-New mobile applications for soccer
-Digital video outsourcing from the computer to the live net

Why? Because I have a job that encourages that opportunity. I spend my day bouncing between screens, thinking that one day I’ll come up with the next Google Glass, the next iPod, the next…who knows? I’m not a technology genius, but it is a complete addiction to be able to blend innovation, imagination, and technology together.

That is a realm where chaos dwells.
I live in this mental complex, and frankly, I’m loving every moment of it.

Digitally, I love being transformed.