Mobile Minutes: Future’s Paradise


You know what sounds ideal? I’ll paint you a picture (Facebook quizzes said I’m good at that):

Waking up in the outskirts of the city. Brewing coffee, blending up breakfast, taking a shower and hitting the road.
Arriving at work 10-15 minutes later (versus the past year of +100 miles per day) and turning on the lights to my classroom.
After school is out, heading home, unpacking the day, grabbing a snack and either hitting the track or the local gym. Killing it for a few hours, gearing up for the next race, and afterwards heading home to recover. Dinner with health benefits (aka not garbage), a quiet evening with Darco, if we didn’t have plans that night, and heading to bed at a moderate time.

May not seem like much, but after three years of chaos…it’d actually be kind of nice.

-D-

XXXI: Imaginative Epic Monologues


*tap, tap, tap…*

I’m supposed to type something here. I have plenty of random, worthless thoughts in my head but getting them organized to type is rather challenging I’m learning.

This week has been some funky, hazy experience of…well…I’m not really sure. From nightmares including astronauts exploding and having my eyes cut out with razor blades, to running to the point that my feet go numb (we’re sure that’s not normal) I’ve actually had a difficult time of separating reality from illusions of mental games.

Does that make sense? Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Chasing Dreams


I kept the form.

It was only for one mile, but everything was dialed in, stance, pace, power, mind, and soul. No pain throughout my body, only mental hurdles while running the night away…

I know several people who run in groups, run together, etc…I have never been that person. In high school it was because I was too slow (I got lapped at practice), in college it was because I wasn’t on a team, and now…it’s because other people are not dependable.

False promises, false ideals, or just an overall lack of commitment keeps me on the one way road. I run alone, train alone, and lift alone (safely). I’m learning that you cannot lean on others to motivate you, you have to motivate you. This concept and belief is your dream, not theirs, so why punish them? They aren’t deciding to trade off life for shoes, or burgers for smoothies (sort of), that’s my sacrifice, no one else’s.

I run a lonely path because it’s what I learned felt best. My soul and emotions run wild alone. With anyone else I’m concerned about them, their speed, what they’re thinking, how they’re judging me, and so on. Alone I’m only judging myself, and that’s enough because in my own eyes, I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never look the best, perform the best, or try the hardest. Make no mistake, mentally I am my worst enemy. I curse my efforts, and pound away on what pride is left.

I don’t run for fun, I run because it is a part of my identity. I hold onto the element as if it was part of my soul. I run because I dream, and dreams are worthless unless they transcend into reality.

When I lace up, when the music turns on, frankly I do not care about anyone else…

I’m out to chase dreams.

-D-

XXXI: Watching Space


You’re losing weight…you don’t stick out as much…

I love my wife, whether her comment above hurt or not, I still love her dearly. Perhaps it is because I’m a male that I have a fixation on the physical elements of life. Fitness, health, and the body. Nothing scientific, just the measuring point of where I stand in life. Honestly, I feel like my life has revolved around the physical glimpses of life as I’ve progressed through time. Continue reading