I kept the form.
It was only for one mile, but everything was dialed in, stance, pace, power, mind, and soul. No pain throughout my body, only mental hurdles while running the night away…
I know several people who run in groups, run together, etc…I have never been that person. In high school it was because I was too slow (I got lapped at practice), in college it was because I wasn’t on a team, and now…it’s because other people are not dependable.
False promises, false ideals, or just an overall lack of commitment keeps me on the one way road. I run alone, train alone, and lift alone (safely). I’m learning that you cannot lean on others to motivate you, you have to motivate you. This concept and belief is your dream, not theirs, so why punish them? They aren’t deciding to trade off life for shoes, or burgers for smoothies (sort of), that’s my sacrifice, no one else’s.
I run a lonely path because it’s what I learned felt best. My soul and emotions run wild alone. With anyone else I’m concerned about them, their speed, what they’re thinking, how they’re judging me, and so on. Alone I’m only judging myself, and that’s enough because in my own eyes, I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never look the best, perform the best, or try the hardest. Make no mistake, mentally I am my worst enemy. I curse my efforts, and pound away on what pride is left.
I don’t run for fun, I run because it is a part of my identity. I hold onto the element as if it was part of my soul. I run because I dream, and dreams are worthless unless they transcend into reality.
When I lace up, when the music turns on, frankly I do not care about anyone else…
I’m out to chase dreams.