Mobile Minutes: Trying to Grow


God only knows that I’m trying to grow up. These past two weekends I’ve tried to adjust priorities in order to create a more financial sound, cleaner, and organized household.

As simple as it sounds, I’ve aimed at making lounging and cartoons go towards the bottom of the list. In turn it’s replaced with training, cleaning, and cooking.

Slowly but surely there are glimmers of hope. I replaced the tires on the Mazda and purchased new wiper blades. I opted out of watch parties for soccer yesterday so that two weeks of laundry could get washed. I’m losing some sleep tonight, but all food for this week is being purchased and prepped tonight.

It’s without excuse…

That’s the whole premise I’m trying to live off of at the moment. If God provides us, a family, with an opportunity to grow we are without excuse of we don’t follow through. That means through health, love, commitment, finances, etc…

This also means my role as a husband. Am I doing enough? Are my priorities correct? Am I working hard enough to lead? It’s been alright, but these past two weekends have been better. Does that make sense? I’m just trying to lead through example, not just through my words, and just…trying to grow up.

-D-

Mobile Minutes: St. Patrick’s Fun


I wish I could claim 100% Irish blood, but sadly I can’t. Truly, I am a mutt. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t have a good time.

image

It was so encouraging to see my friends at Rock & Run Brewery dealing with a packed house on a Tuesday night. They’ve become quite the staple for the northern realm of the city.

image

A car bomb later Darco and I enjoyed the night with friends, laughs, and a few pints.

I have no complaints getting in touch with my family’s strange history.

-D-

Mobile Minutes: High Life


Over 150 miles driven…
Slept in a parking lot, inside a car for three hours…
Slept on a couch for an hour…
Had a Ruben in the form of a calzone…
Ate 1/2 pound of butter toffee peanuts…
Had my feet popped, multiple times…
Raced Lego cars…
Fried my first chicken…
I’m barely still awake.

That’s a solid day in my book.

-D-

XXXI: Unknown Travelers


A phrase I’ve heard more than once inside the school over the past several weeks, directed at students…

Being an adult isn’t always that fun. Right now, it stinks.

This usually coincided with sick days, retirement issues, and taxes. Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Average


Perhaps it’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told myself. Time and time again I hear a preacher say, usually with passion and fire, “God uses and used average, everyday people!”

I’m closing in on 30 years of life and I’m slowly starting to accept my fear.

I’m average.

I’m not an Olympian, professional athlete, world renowned business owner, or genius.

I’m a married man with a steady income. I’m going to wind up with 2.3 kids, a white picket fence, and a mortgage.

I suppose the earlier I begin to accept these realities the sooner life will level out.

God uses average people…

I can only hope…

-D-

XXXI: Not My Own


It’s 9:30 PM and I’m sitting in the living room eating tacos from the kitchen. i’ve just finished another anime episode and I fell asleep on the couch; requiring Darco to wake me up for bed. It’s been that kind of day.

Absolute exhaustion and trying times.

Yesterday was a mess. Between some student loan issues (imagine that), screwing up an assignment for class, and just a failure to adapt to the classroom, it was not a pleasant experience. I was in a rather foul mood last night by the time I left school, and I was hoping (and seriously praying) that today would be different. Thankfully, this was the case. I’m not stating that the day was perfect in comparison to yesterday, but I am going to say that God was able to change my mindset and expectations, so that I could work in an area I love with a more humble soul.

Twice, in the past six months, I’ve failed to gain a classroom position inside the school. The first time it created a horrible sense of bitterness internally, but in the end I had to accept the reality that I didn’t hold the legal requirements to teach. Why should I be mad at someone else for the mistakes I’ve made? With that memory in mind I was able to handle the news of potentially missing out on another classroom position this week. Through this process I started to see the pattern that I’ve become a hypocrite in front of my own students…

So many times I’ve complained about students having this sense of entitlement when they’re in school, “Well, I earned this.” or “Well, I deserve that.” can be heard as distant echoes down the hallway. It’s rather irritating to hear and very discouraging when thinking of what the future could hold for them in this very hostile, unfriendly world.

I say that while with the same mouth and mind I can hear myself saying, out of bitterness…

I’m mad because I’ve earned this opportunity…

I’m upset because I deserve to have this chance…

Doesn’t matter the age, the reality is the same. I’m no different compared to my own students. I have this horrible, worldly sensation that punctures my soul with greed. The truth is, is that I don’t even deserve the job that I currently have. The bitter reality is knowing that there’s nothing in these previous four years of life that indicate I even deserve the life that I’ve been given. Classroom? Trying deserving the wife I have, a supportive family, loving friends, a healthy life, etc…

Who am I to seek entitlement for a life I don’t even deserve?

it was a hard, bitter pill to swallow. Recognizing how fallen I am, and how dirty I’ve become. Realizing this is why it became easier to accept my position, cling to my school, and stop worrying about all the details and just live an enjoyable life. I can firmly say that, that in itself is a blessing that I’ve missed for years.

Maybe this is just another one of my random rants about life. i’ve missed out twice on the hopes of having a real classroom for the next school year, and I’m thankful that God’s prepared my soul to handle the understanding that sometimes His timing and our own for our lives don’t always match up.

I have to require my soul to be alright with understanding that I cannot be in control of my life.

It wasn’t my own to start with anyways…

-D-