Mobile Minutes: New Pains


I finally hit the threshold of exhaustion today. I spent an hour running outside, followed by another hour in the gym. With the 94℉ heat you’d expect some tiring from being outside, but it was the elliptical at the gym that really caused me to question life.

I have no stride, and an elliptical is great for forcing you to have one. Near the twenty minute mark I was just moving to move. All my muscles were failing, sweat was pouring off my face, and I just kept repeating the same question:

Why am I running?

Only through exhaustion can I see a clear picture of dreams, desires, and prayers. Darco always asks me what I want to do that would be fun. My answer to her is the same as my daily prayer, I just want to run.
I want to fly down the track, and move with the breeze. I want to feel my legs firing in sync with a wild horse. I really have no clue my purpose for being placed on this earth, but this much I do know:

While I’m here, I’m going to keep running with my dreams.

image

Big thanks to ALO drink for always keeping the cramps away.

-D-

XXXI: More Papers


I’m typing this from my parent’s PC in the living room this hot afternoon in the Midwest. I should be typing this on my laptop, right? Yeah, I should except that, that laptop wasn’t mine to begin with, it belonged to the company that I was employed with.

Note: was

Earlier this afternoon I was notified that my services as a social media consultant were no longer needed as the businesses I worked with were “going in a new direction” by way of social media use. In other words, I didn’t fit the bill, I had worn out my welcome, and I was no longer needed.

Put bluntly: I was let go from my job this afternoon.

Just like a divorce, and other eventful, painful moments in life there seems to always be paperwork involved. I had to leave my signature along with an office key, laptop, and security device that allowed me into the office. I couldn’t write my name quick enough.

For a few weeks, very similar to the events that transpired with Subway in July of last year, I had the internal feeling that my time was drawing short within the company. I wasn’t involved in as many meetings, I was being asked what the passwords were for all the social media accounts, and other little hints that I was able to note that the end was coming.

Thankfully, I wasn’t completely caught off guard this afternoon. Darco was, as I’m sure I just made her shift at the coffee shop very stressful, but internally I’m quite well. The truth is that while I enjoyed this “dream job”, I don’t think that it was the dream for me. I enjoyed what I did, but I definitely wound up viewing it as a job, and not as something that I forgot I was doing for a job. Also, in light of ongoing conversations with Darco about running, this too ties into a delicate topic that we had discussed for the previous few weeks.\

Spiritually, I don’t see this as God saying, “You abused what I gave you, so I’m taking it all away.” Instead I find peace and excitement in knowing that gears are finally turning, and change is coming to our household. It’s hard to fight back the fears of paychecks, bills, and other ongoing problems, but where this door was evidently closed and this chapter secured; a new one is bound to open soon.

I’m pleased in the fact that the first thing I did after leaving the office was contact the former employee I worked under while subsitute teaching in a local school district. While I’m sure there is some needed paperwork for me to fill out, I’m quite confident that I’ll be back in the classroom within that district very soon. Darco is looking for promotion halfway through September, and while the paycut is indeed evident, if things go smoothly it’ll balance itself out quickly.

I understand that substitute teaching is definitely a short term fix to the immediate problem, so it looks like the resume I’ve been working on for a few weeks was a positive indicator and evidence that I listened to God. There’s a position that has opened up at a specific office that I’m interested in, so I’ll be sure to check that out as well. If nothing else, perhaps the third time is the charm. Twice now I’ve avoided full time teaching positions because something else has come up at the last moment, perhaps this’ll be the time where that cycle ends.

I’m not sure. What I do know for sure is that it’ll be nice not to work on a Twitter account 24/7 non-stop knowing that appreciation will never be given. The other blessing (big time), is that because of the decrease of the mental load, I can begin to focus more and more on my running curriculumn. I’m sure there are plently of readers that may their eyes while reading over these lines, but for future progression this is an important blessing to immediately recognize.

I’m not heartbroken or sad, I was scared for quite a while today, but the more I calm down the more I begin to realize how much of a real life blessing this really is.

-D-

XXXI: Stay Strange


I wish I could have found time earlier this week to type this post up, it’s actually been sitting in the reserves of my brain for a few days now. I’d love to blame the anime for this, but there’s more to the thought that I’m hoping to reach for in this post; it all revolves around one thought:

Stay. Strange. Continue reading

#getyourpraiseon


Let the nerd-fest begin!

There are a few things, about this writer, that you should be aware of (as if you didn’t already know):

I dominated the entire bowl of ramen!

I dominated the entire bowl of ramen!

  • I thoroughly enjoy dropping the bass with EDM tracks…it’s just how I roll…
  • I watch way more anime  compared to any normal soul within a two hundred mile radius of my apartment
  • Darco still loves me

The true gift of the rice ball? The surprise in the middle!

The true gift of the rice ball? The surprise in the middle!

Tonight, for sheer entertainment, let’s look at the second point. Anime. Most times this word is used it is used incorrectly, or has some unknown strange attachment to it.

Anime really is just cartoons that have been created in Japan (primarily) that depict a wide range of cultural aspects of the community. From ‘slice of life’ moments such as high school, to sci-fi, to getting lost inside video games. Recently, I’ve come to thoroughly enjoy learning more about another culture by way of watching anime episodes, all of them are in Japanese, so I’m learning to love subtitles as well.

I could spend more time talking about this, but that’s for another day. One thing nearly all of these shows have in common is the style of food that is being consumed. It’s always rice balls and ramen, rice balls and ramen, and now your standard college instant ramen…like…hardcore ramen from ramen shops (they exist)!

Due to watching so much of this I decided to go hunting for a ramen shop in the city closest to us, and wouldn’t you know it…I FOUND ONE!

Darco and I, knowing nothing about the food, traveled to this ramen shop and had the time of our lives. Rice balls, fried pork cutlets, shaved ice, and ramen (mine was miso, hers was pork). It was a riot, and for me…hehe…it was just like the shows I watch! It’s fine to facepalm yourself and laugh while reading this, I openly embrace my random ‘nerdiness’.

On the one serious note associated with it, as I told Darco, it was a nice reminder that God continues to give me a burning passion for other cultures outside of my own. I tried food that I couldn’t pronounce, and didn’t use a fork once (I’m skilled like that). As with anything else, it always makes me wonder…what else is out there waiting to be discovered?

-D-

XXXI: Imaginative Epic Monologues


*tap, tap, tap…*

I’m supposed to type something here. I have plenty of random, worthless thoughts in my head but getting them organized to type is rather challenging I’m learning.

This week has been some funky, hazy experience of…well…I’m not really sure. From nightmares including astronauts exploding and having my eyes cut out with razor blades, to running to the point that my feet go numb (we’re sure that’s not normal) I’ve actually had a difficult time of separating reality from illusions of mental games.

Does that make sense? Continue reading

XXXI: Good Things End


All good things must come to an end…

Somebody once upon a time in history said that quote, and it seemed wise to use in today’s reality. It’s Friday, and for the first time in three weeks we have zero plans for the weekend. We’ve traveled the Midwest, gone to a night club, celebrated our anniversary, and just about everything else you can imagine in the past fourteen days. Continue reading

XXXI: Running Fuel


What gets you around the track? To lift the weights? The go the distance?

Fuel.

Not just the physical food context, but the mental drive to overcome the shortcomings that our mind places before us.

What is your fuel?

I try to envision the future, I try to dream of the impossible, and keep my feet moving one step at a time. However, eventually I grow tired and I begin to reach for hidden cheats, the known pieces of life that can drive anyone beyond the pain threshold.

Anger, bitterness, hate.

Using negativity to fuel the drive to overcome will merely place your name among those who have failed to ascend above God, Himself.

I still hate. I’ve covered it up, masked it the best I could, but it still sits there. Knowing that I’ll explore that dark world when the miles begin to add. Broken promises, bad relationships, failed marriages, and manipulated moments…I’m still a broken man that struggles with hatred. It’s not just the context of being frustrated, it’s the dark area of the soul where you swear by things unknown that you will rise over those who ridiculed, yelled, and walked away.

Only God could accept a man still struggling with hatred. Only God would allow a man to run, knowing each mile he’ll have the option of fuel.

Will destiny, faith, and humility ever guide my way? Am I too broken to get past what’s been destroyed? Will the hatred ever go away?

I don’t know, I really don’t. Darco knows my demons, and demonstrates patience each time they’re brought up. I can only pray that this is an assistant coach training an athlete to become self disciplined in the soul, as he is to be on the track.

-D-