#getyourpraiseon


I run, and I run, and I run…
Waiting for a moment of change and excitement between broken miles…
It finally happened today.
After school, in my inbox, I found the results of an application that I had placed nearly two weeks ago…

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…since adopting running as a living joy five years ago, today I was accepted onto a running team, sponsored by a local running store.

It may seem trivial, but to me it’s another step towards future goals.

Personally, this is a monumental prayer answered. I’m not one to cast myself out in the public eye. My God is so good.

-D-

XXXI: Vanity or Salvation


I run.
Nearly every day now.
What started six years ago as a means to impress my now ex-wife, became a tool of divorce recovery, and now a method of worship for my soul.

It’s more though…

I, like many, hate looking in the mirror. Daily I question what Darco sees in me anyways. It’s hard to stomach the idea that you’re not an attractive person. It’s a sin of doubt that plagues the mind. It’s been one of mine since I was a child.

Recently I learned a fun project for myself to handle the temptation of doubt and humility. I would grow my hair and my beard crazy long, losing my face in the process. I didn’t want to see it, I didn’t want to see my shortcomings.

I’d run for weeks, months, watch what I eat, and any time spent in the gym was done with multiple layers of long sleeve clothing.

I made it hurt.

I never wanted Darco to regret marrying someone that wasn’t handsome, unique, or attractive. She deserved more, she deserves more.

This weekend I shaved and cleaned up to see the progress, and for once…truly once…I was surprised.

For the first time in my life, that I can recall, I can look in the mirror without the guilt.

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I know it isn’t perfect, but I hope it’s something for my wife. She deserves it.

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Weight It Out


Maybe I need guidance?

Earlier this week the cross country season ended at school. That means running for me, with the students, ended as well.

Now, I’m struggling to continue my motivation. Pushing weights, running faster, and farther. Getting back into my own groove is proving not to be easy.

The good news is that my belt is on its last notch, meaning that I have lost weight during the season.

Perhaps I just need a new goal, something to strive for, I’m just not sure what it is.

Is it alright for me to take this week off? First time since we’ll before school started that I’ve not been running. Is that alright? Healthy?

Not sure, but a plan is certainly needed…this pizza tastes good.

-D-

XXXI: Three Steps Back


Last week, at the pinnacle of frustration, I stopped running. I mean that I quite literally haven’t ran since last Tuesday. That’s the longest period (five days) consecutively that I haven’t done anything fitness related in well over a year. I spent the time with my wife, explaining to her why I just don’t want to run, how the fire just burned out.

it’s a strange sensation. It wasn’t that I was tired of running, and personally I was enjoying the results. However, to be honest, it’s hard to keep moving when you’re trying to impress one person…and they don’t always notice. I simply shared that to Darco, because I want her to be proud that she’s married me. The hope is that she got a guy who doesn’t play video games (usually), stays in shape, cooks, cleans, etc…Most of this stems directly from a previous marriage where my existence was debatable at best.

I suppose what I learned from all of this was a few key pieces:

  1. You really can’t do anything by yourself. Sure, I can run by myself without issue. However, it still takes a crew of motivators, if nothing else, to keep me moving each day.
  2. Breaks are alright. Five days worth of horrible eating, too much coffee, and dehydration. I’ve been bad on my body, but thankfully five questionable days outweigh a years worth of the same habits.
  3. I am strong. Even though I’ve been off the running circuit lately, I’m ready to get going again. Three, four, five years ago if I would have been off, I would have easily stayed off.
  4. Good ideas can stem from time away from the road. I’ve enjoyed my fun on the road, and I completely understand that for the vast majority of people there is no joy behind running. However, that isn’t the same as just moving. The belief, “If you’re moving, you’re winning”. I’ve chatted with Darco about making a family fitness and health blog. It may take her a while to come around, but I think that kind of side project would keep us both vested in the opportunities that exist outside of just running.

With all of that said…

I’m ready to hit the gym*.

-D-

*It’s nearly 100 degrees outside, I’ll be training inside where it’s safe.

Mobile Minutes: Summer Plans


Already, I’ll confess, I’m counting down the days until summer vacation begins. It’s not that I don’t love the children, or that I’m sick of school, it’s just this whole ‘teaching thing’ caught me off guard and I’ve struggled to appropriately acclimate to the environment. Continue reading