Mobile Minutes: School Day Nerves


I head back to school tomorrow, the holiday being over and all.
Can I be honest? I’m nervous. I get nervous, the butterflies in the stomach, everything when I think about tomorrow.
I don’t want to make mistakes, I want the kids to be successful, and I frankly, I don’t want to stop having fun.
Maybe I’m naive and weird for thinking that, but it’s interesting getting nervous about going to work.
And I’m not even a teacher!

-D-

XXXI: Childish Dialogue


If I (2015) went back in time, and I found my former self (circa 2001); I’m relatively sure this would be the transcript of the dialogue between the two of us:

2015: Life is going to be interesting for you, that’s the best that I can say for certain. It’s not going to be easy, in fact this moment in life is about the easiest you’re going to have it.

2001: Why does everything change?

2015: Because of the choices that we make. Let me break it down for you. You’re going to be an awful athlete, and your work ethic through high school is going to be a joke. You’ll blow off all your classes and never apply yourself, except in the creative writing class you’ll take your senior year. You’ll go into an insane amount of debt by going into the wrong college, the same one that’ll reject you the first time you apply. You’ll struggle to find yourself in college, go through a mix of poor relationships, and end up making some horrible, life changing decisions right after college. That doesn’t even address how the work field is going to treat you.

2001: Work field? Like what kind of job I’ll have?

2015: Yes. Be prepared to spend over a decade with a company known as Subway. You’ll do everything in the store, and will be in two primary stores before getting moved into a corporate position.

2001: Corporate? That doesn’t sound so bad.

2015: It isn’t, until you try to cheat the system, get caught, and are asked to resign from your position.

2001: I do that? Ouch…

2015: You will create problems for teachers, headaches for school board members, and will be reprimanded by administration before you leave high school. You’ll attempt to have a college board member removed, and you’ll be fired for the athletic department…as a work study student. You’ll argue with theologians, and will even walk away from the very church you attend now. Your stubbornness will lead to pointless arguments, and eventually even a horrific divorce.

2001: I get divorced!?!?!

2015: Your relationship timeline is about as fragmented as the Richter Scale in California. You’ll officially date one person in high school, and unofficially date one person in high school. You’ll mutually depart with one, and you’ll walk away from another. In college you’ll chase after student-athletes, only to have your immaturity cost you, your first serious relationship. The second relationship in college will be reckless and free, but you’ll be cheated on and left because “you’re too nice, and deserve better”. The third relationship will nearly end you. It’ll involve someone who becomes a teacher, a family deeply rooted in the Southern Baptist community of the state, failed vows, and a marriage that dissolves after a year. You will lose everything, you will go hungry, and you will cry yourself to sleep at the ripe age of 24. Your parents will bail you out of the mess you’ve made, and you’ll live at home for a while.

2001: Does it ever get better from that point? Relationship-wise?

2015: You’ll forever have a horrible scar from the Church. You’ll witness a pastor condemn you for your action and approve your ex-wife’s wishes for the divorce. You will lose faith in the Church, but for as much hatred that you’ll build for the organization, you’ll also refuse to give into the temptation to give up on God. Why this happens, I’m still unsure to this day, but you won’t lose complete faith. You will meet a girl at Starbucks, one that’ll be built in the city north of here shortly, and in a very short amount of time you’ll help lead her to become a Christian, you’ll start dating upon your return from a trip in Guatemala, and you’ll get married nearly a year later. She’s from the city north of here, has very, very little to her name, and I caution you to be very careful with her…whether she realizes it, or not, she’s extremely fragile. Treat her with care because she will also quickly because your best friend, and you two will be inseparable. She will accept all of your awful flaws, and she’ll expect you to do the same. Do. The. Same.

2001: Was she an athlete?

2015: No, and neither are you. You’ll fail in every form of athletics, and you won’t stop growing until you’re a sophomore in college. You’ll gain the “Freshmen 15″, and you’ll lose it. Gain it, lose it. This cycle will go on about five times in your life. Your heart will be broken realizing that you will not be like your mother, or any of your relatives. You won’t succeed at basketball or football. In fact, you’ll be the waterboy the next three years in high school for football. You’ll painfully dislocate your shoulder playing basketball, and you’ll only be on varsity your senior year because…well…you’re a senior. You’ll hold the honorable title of being the only runner in school history not to letter on the track team. You’ll start doing sprints, but you’ll end high school running the 3200 meter. Good luck with that. You’ll get more serious in college in the gym, but that’s just because you’re bitter towards the people that laughed at you in high school and in college. You’ll want to “show them”, but the truth is…no one really cares about what you’re doing at that point in your life. You will start to dabble with running though…running for fun that is.

2001: Why would I ever consider that?

2015: Because you’ll always have stress issues, so much so that you’ll get sick from the stress. People around you will turn to smoking, drinking, tanning, and other vices to cope with their own stress. Out of fear for your health, and how a church-goer would view you, you decide to run as a stress relief. The interesting reality is that you’ll start to love it, especially after the divorce. In the early fall of 2011 you’ll run a mile, on the road, with a time that makes no sense to any human. Especially one like you, but it’ll be your motivation to push the envelope of what’s impossible.

2001: Will I be a tornado chaser?

2015: No. The math required to process to get into a school of meteorology will be enough that you won’t even try. You’ll settle for becoming a international missionary after high school, that’s what you’ll tell everyone and you’ll even enter the program to do so in college. You’ll last one week before you quit that major. You’ll try physical therapy and sports management, both of them you’ll leave just as quickly. Finally, your advisor will inquire upon your decision for your degree. You’ll choose politics, and then you’ll decide to get another degree in education.

2001: I become a teacher! No.

2015: Not immediately. You’ll cruise through 90 applications of hearing, “No”, and you’ll give up for a few years. You’ll substitute teach to make the monthly rent in some cases, but you’ll work at Subway (mentioned above), and also for an investment firm…where you’ll learn that car-buying is evil. You’ll even try to make your own business, a women’s soccer team.

2001: Women’s soccer? I’m an idiot. There’s no market for that around here.

2015: Eventually there will be, but after one season…you’ll fail. Financially the business will be a disaster, and you’ll walk away and hide in shame. It’ll add financial stress to you and your wife, and she’ll pray for you to get away from it. After that’s over, you’ll be fired from the investmet firm. This means you’ll take a huge paycut, and you’ll default on a student loan. Your credit score will be trashed along the way. You’ll walk away from soccer, and in all likelihood will never return. By way of desperation for income, you’ll head back into substitute teaching. This could come as a shock to you, but you’ll wind up falling in love with a middle school inside the city. You’ll be there off-and-on for two years, dealing with some students that have rough lives, and you’ll love them all. It’s strange to understand now, but there will be something about them that’ll make you never want to give up on them. In a very strange, God-kind-of-way, you’ll wind up being hired by that district to work in that middle school’s special education department. Again, though it sounds strange, you’ll come to love every moment that you have in that school. Your teaching license will expire, and you’ll dream of renewing it so that one day you’ll have your own classroom.

2001: Well, sounds like life isn’t the easiest after this point. I’m right thinking that, yes?

2015: Yes, you’ll also witness disasters, death, and some very hard personal times.

2001: So, what am I suppose to take from this? I thought people from the future brought good news about all the accomplishments you wind up finishing with, and how everything turns out in a perfect manner…

2015: Life here is anything but perfect. Between now and my time you’ll see gas prices rise to near $4.00 a gallon here, over $5.00 in California and elsewhere. The world is anything but perfect. You’re going into so naive though that you have no clue. I’ll make this clear, on several occasions you’ll lose everything and you’ll fail at everything. You will even steal food from a hotel to eat while traveling. Failure will be a teacher for you, and humility will be its aid. However, I will add this, you will overcome these hardships and you will watch God do things that no one will ever be able to comprehend and understand. Where you fail in this world, you will succeed in life beyond it.

2001: Last question…how do you remember so much of this?

2015: In 2011 you…I…started a website.

-D-

XXXI: #ClubDaugherty Christmas 2014


Merry Christmas!

Scrolling back through previous posts I noticed that last year I left a family letter to the random viewers of this page. It was a brief (haha) recap of 2013, so keeping in new tradition I assumed the role of explaining 2014 to the best of my abilities for #ClubDaugherty.

Atlantic City

Atlantic Ocean!

2014 is best explained by way of learning patience and faith. Heading into the second year of our marriage it wasn’t just learning those lessons towards each other, but also understanding and believing that God has a purpose and reason for why we exist. 2014 started off similar to the end of 2013, we were involved in women’s soccer, I was working for an investment firm, and Darco was brewing coffee (and much more).

January Darco got her first taste of the Atlantic Ocean. Due to a conference in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania we both headed out via car for the weekend.

He's 5 inches taller than me...

He’s 5 inches taller than me…

While the conference was rather…lacking (soccer). We did take the time to explore, including taking Darco to Atlantic City, New Jersey. Part of my dream has been to get Darco to see more things of the life around her, outside of just the place that she calls home. On route back we checked in with some dear friends of mine in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Ensuring that we will see them again in 2015.

 

By February Darco and I started to feel the tug at our souls by God when dealing with the Kansas City Shock. While 2013 was fun and exciting, the same pieces weren’t coming together in 2014, and we could see the writing on the wall. It was time to hang up our hats and move on. We closed down the operations of the Kansas City Shock, on somber hearts, and decided it was time to remove all these different sticks that we had placed in the fire, and focus on our strengths.

5k I

Survived another race!

With the extra time heading into March Darco and I started to pick up running. We ran races stretching from far northern Missouri to deep into Arkansas. They were primarily 5K events, but at least for one of us, it sparked the interest of running more, and more, and more. We made great friends with companies that create rehydrating beverages, and started to drastically adjust our diets. We knocked out gluten, dairy, and refined sugars. While we’re not perfect, the different has been earth shattering. 2014 was definitely a year about health, and better understanding the human body.

Epic times!

Epic times!

Towards the end of the summer Darco and I were able to take an entire week to celebrate my birthday, her birthday, and our one year anniversary. This included truck racing, her first tattoo, and seeing family that I hadn’t seen in well over five years. This week is what became known as “#ClubDaugherty” due to our random interest in EDM music, and the fact that the two of us are always together, looking to rock something new.

Darco continued to push herself towards getting promoted in Starbucks, and finally into the early fall she moved to an assistant manager’s position. It truly was God’s timing, because while we were giving praise for her advancement, a new moment of patience was about to be forced upon us. At the end of August I was let go from my work at the investment firm. While it did stir the pot on the household, it didn’t come completely off guard. We had discussed for months that we felt my time was drawing near with the company, and when it came I inherently did the one thing that I’ve always done.

Too Cool For School

But first…

I went back to substitute teaching. Similar to 2013, I was in the same school district and frequently in the same school. Eventually I wound up being in charge of a single, 6th grade science classroom for an entire month. As God would have it, after that prolonged duration inside that classroom the school wound up offering my employment in the special education department. Since that point I’ve been hanging out with middle school students throughout the week and focusing on assisting students with writing, reading, and spelling. Darco was transferred to a Starbucks located ten minutes from my school. Due to this, and her schedule, we now run the same schedule, travel together, and see each other throughout the week. A very nice change of pace.

Middle school basketball for real!

Middle school basketball for real!

We still attend the same church we started going to in 2014, but with a slight twist. We’ve started a home church with two other families in the suburbs of the metro area. Each of them have young children (with more on the way!), so I’m learning to adapt and adjust to little kids. They’re sweet as can be, but as usual God still is working patience on me. No, Darco and I are not expecting any children…for a while at least.

Obviously, FilingThePapers is still going strong. It fascinates me to see where this website/blog started, and where it currently exists. God is a God of mystery for sure. Thankfully He wraps that mystery with love, and leaves us without doubt that He’s always watching over us.

Church Photo

We’re hipsters…

2015 already appears to be an eventful year. We’re finally going to be moving down into the city, now that both of our jobs are located there. I’ll be vying for a full time classroom position for the 2015-2016 school year, and Darco looks to be promoted to a full store manager around March. We’re runners, lovers, and all sorts of weird.

Thank you all for humoring our insanity, and praying for us when we had no idea you were. Here’s to a beautiful 2015!

To Him Be The Glory,
D & Darco

#getyourpraiseon


Are you the runner? The fast one that my son told me about? You are! I’ll keep praying for you.

These were the words of a random woman in our church this morning. It’s the first time someone has picked me out of the crowd as “the runner”, and held expectations for me to do great.

That’s the pressure I love.

image

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Poetic Confessions


Poetic confessions,
Screaming from the resonating chambers of my heart.
Medicated soul strings,
Covering hopeless, lifeless eyes.

Calling for a savior,
Reaching for reality’s escape.
Falling into eternity,
Losing a grasp in humanity’s case.

Hear Your child,
God of Adam.
Hold his bleeding life,
Save him from his sinful lies.

Reject my desires,
Hold fast to Your plan.
Break me, glorious Spirit,
Deny the ability of pouring eyes.

Shake away the tears of temptation,
Shatter my sense of loss.
Refuse the inplicable hope of death,
Restore my weary faith.

Please Father,
Reach me in these trialing times!
Cling to my tattered body,
Cleanse my damaged, distorted life.

XXXI: Default


Your loan has been accelerated…

*yawn*

Trying to reestablish my thought process this morning. I haven’t even touched my coffee yet and it’s already 8:30 AM.

Stress…

I’ve been mulling over how to be honest without shattering any self-esteem that may be left in my body. I suppose self-esteem isn’t really needed when an individual tries to remove their worldly desires. However, I can say this soundly…

I failed. Continue reading