XXXI: Watching Space


You’re losing weight…you don’t stick out as much…

I love my wife, whether her comment above hurt or not, I still love her dearly. Perhaps it is because I’m a male that I have a fixation on the physical elements of life. Fitness, health, and the body. Nothing scientific, just the measuring point of where I stand in life. Honestly, I feel like my life has revolved around the physical glimpses of life as I’ve progressed through time. Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Too Fast


I’m still recovering…

I started the 1600 meter way too fast on the first lap, I was dying by the third, and going insane on the fourth. I finished with a time that’s better versus where it has been (near a six minute drop since May). It isn’t good enough by any means, but it is progress.

More importantly though was the questions I fielded from Darco afterwards while I was working on a post-run snack. The questions showed me that she saw that I was serious about this two year commitment (I even turned down an opportunity for ice cream tonight). It makes me happy knowing that she saw through those four laps that I am completely insane, but I’m also completely dedicated.

God made me to run, and we’re going to show the world that.

-D-

Mobile Minutes: One More…


One more full day.
One more Monday.
One more 24 hour cycle.

Then, it gets real.

I’m overly excited about July 1, 2014. There’s a lot going on mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I can easily say that the next chapter of FilingThePapers has definitely had a considerate amount of prayer infused into its unique workings and structure. There’s just a cool element that’s never been taken into consideration through the growth of the writing content of this website, blog, personal journal, etc…

Who knows, perhaps to the reader it really won’t matter much. It may become a bit cliche for some, but that’s alright. In the beginning FilingThePapers was merely an illustration of the journey of divorce. The pain, frustration, and overall hopelessness that comes with it. It’s matured as the years have passed, and I’m grateful for that. I suppose where the first three chapters have focused strongly on the external world around me, and learning to adapt to an ever evolving environment; the fourth chapter is going deep into the internal workings of mind, body, and soul. The hard questions get asked, and more importantly, the limits will be pushed. Where the term self-discipline was mentioned in the past three chapters, it becomes a building block of the fourth.

I can’t sleep at the moment because I’ve drank WAY too much coffee this evening (Tornado Warning and all that fun stuff), and because I’m very, very excited about the upcoming adventure. I’ve never been a person to plot out the journey of life, to meditate, pray, and focus on God’s voice rather than my own. Just the honest truth, that’s what makes the fourth chapter so exciting.

Grabbing Darco's phone because mine was dead...

There was a Tornado Warning issued with this one.

It’s no longer solely about the life that I live, but instead aims at demonstrating a mission that God controls.

-D-

XO: Finally


I think this’ll most likely be the last “XO” post at http://www.filingthepapers.com. I can firmly able to say that I’m ready to see “XO” fade off into the sunset (or tragically burn in a fire…either really works).

FilingThePapers is finally clean again; the months entries have been organized for the most part. There are five days left until the next chapter is ready to launch, so please excuse if the site goes down, disappears, has spelling errors, or posts random photos of the “dark one”. Continue reading

#getyourpraiseon


Well…

Student debt is always a ‘reality’ of my life, and that’s something that I’ve aimed to just accept instead of just complain.

There’s some silver linings to it. Recently Darco and I have discovered an opportunity for a certain state government to remove $15,000 of debt if we were to move to a specific location inside that state [more later].

We’ve also learned as of yesterday that Starbucks is will to pay the tuition of their employees that work over 20 hours a week. This would qualify Darco.

Just some interesting tidbits as of late.

-D-

XO: Wandering Around


What on earth are we doing?

That was the question recently (this evening) posed to Darco in our living room. With ice on my feet, and a cat lurking along the couches, my wife and I have come to this strange paradox of the adult world…

We have no idea what to do.

The reality is that while we’re both very blessed with epic jobs; we find ourselves already in the routine of the standard, cultured sheep. We wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, drive home, work out, eat dinner, go to bed, repeat…

Every. Single. Day.

Dearest reader, please tell me that we’re the only two people on this entire globe that witness this strange sensational repetitiveness throughout the days? Even in my job, pouring through posts, tweets, and shares; the cycles are all the same. Monday is slow, the weekend is good for Client A, business is good Tuesday-Saturday for Client B, new ‘news’ for Client C is dropped publicly on Monday morning, etc…

You’re telling me; even in the ever-changing world of social media, there’s a pattern? This is why I stopped playing video games; I grew tired of the calculated, formulated, expected patterns that form within each piece of software.

When mankind less its ability to imagine, it welcomed in the ability to function in predictable cycles, and I am now one of them. Meal portions are weighed out, drinks are poured to their proper levels, bills are adjusted, prepped, and paid, and the alarm that’s set for seven days a week rarely, if ever, changes.

You can’t convince me that God intended His creation to live this way. Pinned up, programmed products of a cultural phenomenon that doesn’t condemn creativity, but assists in assuring that it doesn’t take place. Poets and painters have no reason to exist, and eventually handwriting will disappear completely. We don’t need to think, there’s drive-thru’s in place for us to do that instead.

My theory:
You have an imagination? Great, there’s an entire industry waiting for you to explore your possibilities and potentials. However, first you need to be sure to grab your four-year undergraduate diploma.
-Four Years Later-
Yes, you too have the proper documentation to fulfill the job requirements in this cubical for the rest of your life. If you work hard enough you too may be swayed by financial stability, and encouraged to finally put your dreams to rest.

Isn’t this what it’s all about in the end? CEO’s, board members, councils, and committees. Every move, action, idea, insult, and imaginative complex goes to benefit a few, for the harvesting of the many.

Am I really all that different? I type the day away to ensure that clients are happy; they’re happy by seeing a drop in costs and a raise in revenue. Darco works with coffee, selling a product to a consumer, in return for a wage that doesn’t match the job requirements, in order to benefit the shareholders of the organization that may or may not be in a semi-possible progress to monopolize an entire industry (thank goodness she’s got great dental insurance though). We’re bound by the ‘necessities of life’ within the confines of our daily atmosphere that in many cases we miss the fact that we’re only pieces on someones game board.

Perhaps I just drank too much coconut milk tonight, and these words aren’t my own. Maybe I didn’t get enough endorphin’s this evening and it’s allowing my brain to stir.

Maybe it’s just the fact that I have a hard time accepting a reality that I would be ashamed to go before my Father and say, “This is what I’ve done with the time and skills that You’ve given me”.

Maybe it’s just me.

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Tax Return Oddities


To show you the type of lives that Darco and I come from…

We were thrilled to get our tax return late last week. For both of us it’s the most of a return we’ve ever seen [that's a #getyourpraiseon moment].

However, humorously [and I doubt she'll admit it], in the past couple days we tend to opening our bank account via our phones just to check, to see if the money is still there. While we do have a list of things that need to be addressed, paid for, etc…

The truth is…I think we’re afraid to spend money…

-D-