Mobile Minutes: Hamming It Up


Hamming It Up

It’s the only positive phrase I could think of for the moment.

Across the street from the track that I train at is a rather large, paved hillside. It’s a street that isn’t too frequently occupied with moving traffic. Because of this, and looking at the need to continue to increase in strength and health; I felt today was a great day to concur the hill with some self-satisfying sprint work.

My body did not agree.

I haven’t “sprinted” 100% since my sophomore year of college. During which time I suffered a nasty hamstring injury (from not warming up mind you), and lived in fear of ever approaching that mark again. That was until today, after my first successful series on the hill I came down to refocus. I took off the second time and felt good, so good that without thinking I just kicked in another gear and started sprint up the hill… Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Too Fast


I’m still recovering…

I started the 1600 meter way too fast on the first lap, I was dying by the third, and going insane on the fourth. I finished with a time that’s better versus where it has been (near a six minute drop since May). It isn’t good enough by any means, but it is progress.

More importantly though was the questions I fielded from Darco afterwards while I was working on a post-run snack. The questions showed me that she saw that I was serious about this two year commitment (I even turned down an opportunity for ice cream tonight). It makes me happy knowing that she saw through those four laps that I am completely insane, but I’m also completely dedicated.

God made me to run, and we’re going to show the world that.

-D-

XO: I Am No One


I am no one…

…and it feels great.

I was running last night through some rural roads while a storm system passed through; creating a delightful [and cold experience]. Upon my return back to the starting position of the adventure it started to sink in…

I am no one…

However, in past experiences this would be met with doubt, guilty, pity, and a plethora of other mentioned terms that’d make me feel sorry for myself, yesterday was not that experience.

I am no one…

Over the past two years I received exactly what I wanted, I got a taste of the spotlight, and I accepted the pressures of life before me. I tried, I failed, and then I was brushed off and led onto a new path. I love my life; I have an awesome wife and an incredible job. Imagine, I sit at a computer all day finding ways to market products and services through social media. I practically live on Twitter and Google+, how cool is that? My wife has become a health nut, of which I love her even more because of it. We travel, work on new projects, pray for her promotion, and watch life evolve before us.

I am no one…

I am not a successful businessman, entrepreneurship really isn’t my thing; even though I find the process fascinating. I love to type, dream of writing, and get wrapped up in new, creative ways to market new ideas and dreams. I wasn’t really designed to be in the spotlight, the preacher, teacher, businessman, or anything of the life. I enjoy being behind the scenes, staying quiet, and operating life from the stroke of the keys. How different is that from a piano player? I read books, run outside, and drive throughout the country between work and home. There are dreams of fitness, and hopes of health; knowing that one will always compliment the other. I hang out with my best friend, she’s everything to me and I couldn’t have dreamed up a better life partner. We’ve witnessed tragedy, disappointment, and many sleepless nights, but God never left our side. We’ve cried for repentance, and wept when hope felt lost, but each morning we’d wake up knowing that He was still in control.

I’m trying to live a reality and a dream I had years upon years ago; simple truth of being less so God can become more. It’s taken hard lessons, and painful realities, but as time progresses scars do really heal. My blood pleasure is lowered, and sleep comes rather easy these days. More time is spent with family, and after 7:00  each night social media world gets placed on hold for the next morning. There are dreams and ambitions, many tasks I hope to accomplish, and bigger adventures that lie beyond the current path.

With that said though, no matter the event that lays before me, or the path that is taken, I am so much more comfortable hanging out in the shadows, being more quiet compared to loud, and learning to put pride aside and understand what ‘me’ is really about. The idea of ‘me’ is merely pride, accepting that the importance of life revolves around yourself. It’s a dangerous place to be as a Christian, and it become hard to keep your tongue controlled. Thankfully God is good, a loving Father that always rescues His kids every time that they’ve fallen. In recent months I’ve fallen hard, and it’s hurt, and it caused pain, but at the end the lesson learn was understanding that when the sun sets, when the sun rises, I have to always uphold to a holistic truth:

I am no one…

-D-

Mobile Minutes: List Time!


1. Brake line broke on my truck
2. Battery died in my truck
3. Brakes and rotors were ruined in Darco’s car
4. Darco hasn’t been promoted (yet)
5. The pastor resigned
6. The cat woke me up at 1:30 AM puking and attempting to use the restroom…outside his litter box (he’s sick)
7. I’ve been stranded outside for three hours now in Kansas City because the starter went out in the car. Getting it towed.
8. Darco was injured at work a few weeks ago. Now proceeding workmens comp.
9. Kansas City Shock
10. Broke the pizza stone
11. Killed the blender
12. Arguing…

There’s no “God won’t give you so much that you can’t handle.” That’s referred to as “theological crap”.

There’s no clean way to spin it. Darco and I have been taking an incredible beating as of late…

…we’re tired…

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Shipwrecked


It has been a week from help.

Quite literally.

There has been death, fighting, sorrow, grief, stress, frustration, and questioning…

That was covered by Tuesday.

In all reality I think back to a recent creation I found along the interstate. Someone has taken construction dirt, formed a hill, and dropped a wooden boat on it. In the middle of the prairie. Very humorous, and also describing personally.

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The devil has been putting in overtime. There are serious events taking place at MoVal, things I haven’t witnessed since I was a freshman in high school. The founder of a ministry organization in the area of MoVal died today. Darco and I are maxed out of stress, and have been working tirelessly to not argue with each other. We’ve broken glasses and dishes by accident, killed the blender (again), and ruined a few meals. She’s injured from last Saturday’s fall and is heading to the orthopedic doctor on Monday.

The two of us are shipwrecked.

I’m blessed to have her next to me. You really can’t grasp the magnitude of this past week. Currently we’ve averaged five hours of sleep this week, not good for either one of us.

Thankfully, God is good. I’m exhausted because I’ve been working. I now have two schools that request me immediately, including five different teachers. In the month of September there were three days this month I wasn’t in school. These were due to Kansas City Shock work days. Talk about God providing. We have a fridge full of food, a great problem to have, and we are eating healthy and well.

It’s been several years since I’ve witnessed so many Christians attacked in such a short period of time. Darco is struggling at work due to the ongoing promotion attempts, while also attempting to grasp what is taking place within our church body. It’s the first time since she’s become a Christian that she’s witnessed the devastating torment of the devil.

Thank goodness God has already taken care of tomorrow. Tonight, we rest peacefully. We’re both getting a good nights rest and we have a date tomorrow night.

This is where life is hard. Dealing with stupid world driven issues is one thing, but when spiritual attacks take place you can’t protect anyone, you have to rely on God to protect you.

And stand firm in believing you’re not stranded alone on an island.

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-D-

Mobile Minutes: Towel Throwing


My shirts don’t fit.
I look like garbage.
I’m a has been, wanna be educator.
I’m barely a business owner.
I don’t sleep.
My neck chronically hurts.
I argue.
I’m bitter.
I feel worthless.

What? Did you want some happy, warm fuzzy pep talk? The reality is, is that I deal with inner demons just like everyone else. I don’t blame God, I don’t blame, I take upon myself my failures…all of them.

Maybe that guy from Stackify was right. No one really cares, no matter how hard you work, no one cares. It’s never enough, and it never will be enough.

Confession time. I enjoy putting my demons in front of the public. I have this never ending concept that God punishes me. I screw up and just like a parent, I’m punished. Hearing people talk about a God who is so powerful that He doesn’t need you in order to be glorified leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. What I hear is a God who is all powerful, doesn’t need you, and my life reflects nothing but constant punishment. That’s it, nothing more. Don’t worry I know what scripture says, and I know what I’m taught, and I know what my soul screams as truth. That doesn’t block out the negativity, the fear of isolation, the temptation that I’m merely tolerated, not really wanted.

I work my tail off every single day, so that I can dream of one day hearing, “Well done my good and faithful servant”, but works mean nothing right? It’s obedience, it’s faith, it’s love. It’s the things that I beat myself daily in order to obtain only to realize each day is only a new struggle of trying to hold everything together…and failing.

It’s a catch 22; there’s nothing you can do to “earn” love, but at the same time even if I’m faithful, bold, and take the hits…I’ll still suffer on this earth.

Make sense?

Mean either.

I’d never turn my back on God, it would be foolish because I’ve witnessed Him do so much for so many. I’ve seen miracles all around and lives changed. I’ve accepted the impossible and prayed for the unknown. But deep down, if I’m being horribly, brutally honest; it feels like when God gets to me He doesn’t have anything left to give. Sure, that’s a foolish notion considering His grace and love is abundant and never ending, but that doesn’t mean I don’t “hear” otherwise.

Perhaps it’s a childhood complex, a repeatative fear that my father forgot that I existed.

Just as a final thought; anyone who comes at me with a deniable sense of righteousness is a fool. Anyone who denies these fears themselves ever crossing their own mind, I question if you’ve ever lived. You better believe I have anger issues. I yell at God, beg for forgiveness, and try to see His perspective for my life. I never understand, it’s God, I can’t understand. Sometimes that hurts more than anything else of spiritual wrought.

If this site was full of perfection, it wouldn’t be worth reading.

I’m not a plastic.

-D-