XXXI: 4 years, 37000 views, and many lifetimes later


I can hear my wife sleeping. She’s been asleep for nearly three hours now. Six hours ago she arrived back into the United States from her first international mission trip. As you could imagine, she’s rather tired. I’ve checked on her a few times, but she’s just sprawled out on the bed, soaking up the air conditioning, and peacefully asleep.

Not too bad for four years of reliving life.

It dawned on me a few days ago that I had passed the yearly anniversary of the founding of FilingThePapers. As much as I hate cliches, life really does fly by when you’re having fun. I went ahead and popped back to this time in 2011. On this day; I had began the process of collecting my belongings down south and awaited my new life up here. Honestly, I could have never predicted the life that was waiting for me. I’ve made business, failed business, hired, and fired. I’ve had bills caught up, and I’ve ran the risk of having my electricity shut off. I was single, I was alone, and I was angry for so long. Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Chicken Soup for the Runner


Productive day during this break from school. Cleaned the kitchen, made juice, cleaned the kitchen again, had lunch, and started dinner. The cloudy, cool, damp day wanted to keep me indoors, but thankfully Jim popped over to get me out of the apartment (flat on the Mazda3 needed to be changed out).

Afterwards, I felt the sudden inspiration to run “stadiums” (running up and down the flights of steps at a local football field) for my workout. I had forgotten that technically Thursday’s are my day of rest from running. Darco was gone for the day and night, so truly the day was up to me. Two hours later I finished my workout, grabbed coffee (haven’t had that in nearly a week), and headed home.

Finished my rehab workouts from my doctor, and hopped in the shower (shame on me, it had been two days). Upon finishing I checked on the dinner that I had started; a crock pot variety of chicken soup with gluten free pasta noodles.

Now? I’m sitting comfortably on the couch, preparing to watch a new episode of Arrow, iced coffee on the table, chicken soup in a bowl, and a calm glow from the lamp in the living room.

Truly, this is the best day of spring break to date.

Oh yeah…the department of education also said today that I qualify for a provisional social studies middle school certification without having to take their content examination!

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Twelve Feet


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60℉ in November? Yes, please!

Jim and I went out hunting yesterday afternoon. Temperature floating around 60℉, and it was epic. Heading into the timber we found a tree stand dangling along a small sapling. For one reason or another, being a person who despises heights and tree stands, I hitched myself up the stand.

Twelve feet off the ground.

Turns out that tree stands sway with the trees when the wind is blowing. That was something new to me (without the proper harness). For the next six hours I sat in this tiny, wire frame brace. Not moving, sipping coffee, and letting my mind just run.

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No security device? No problem.

I thought about running. That was the base of most thought. Flying on asphalt, cruising on rubber, sweating on gravel…all of it. I thought about winning races, running to the voice of my wife, and collapsing at the point of victory.

I thought about why I run, or desire to run. I tied it worship, I moved it to offering, and many times I thought over the attempt at praise and glory with each heart beat and breath.

I pondered on why I can’t run, why I’m sidelined, and why I try to achieve things that are impossible. What drives the insanity to believe that an individual can compete?

I found zero answers while swaying in the tree, but the silence of the world brought about some much desired peace. That was the first time, in a very long time, that I was completely alone from others of my kind (humans), and I had forgotten how much I cherished such as sensation.

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Hello world!

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Saturday Seclusion


A day to sleep in…
A day to recover…
A day for bad news…

These are my Saturday’s in a nutshell. With my job going Monday through Friday, and Darco working Saturday mornings, the beginnings of the weekends have really opened up a bit. While I do spend some time cleaning, prepping, most of it frankly is spent lounging and relearning how to catch my breath from the week before. Sunday will be the day that I begin the preparation for the upcoming week. Sadly, sometimes Saturdays are also times to put out fires and try to establish control and balance to this life. Continue reading

XXXI: Between Chaos


*tap, tap, tap, tap…*

My feet keeping beat to an unknown theme. Collections of the weeks thoughts resonate throughout my being, as my physical state remains unmoved.

Place. Position. Theme. Existence.

A desire to understand purpose with each step. Yearning to establish cause and devotion.
Why am I here? Cycles moving through life, surrounding my being, but a path I’ve never touched.

Get out. Be free.

My soul silently pleads. Nerves throughout my mortal place awaken with fire, desperation ignites in my heart.

Take the chance. Make the move.

The only voices in my head command.

Rebel. Revolt. This is your innate being.

I’m caught between two worlds. Angels and demons, right and left, whisper their secrets about my life I don’t even know.

You’re designed to explore.
Your current life is beautiful.
Stay.
Go.
Stuck.
Free.

All the time a stoich presence tightens on my face. No one knows my internal being, no one knows that I’m constantly on the brink of revolution. The silent aura hides the balance of chaos and peace that streams through my blood.
To be unattached, a place where I no longer connect. I feel my strings getting tighter, strained when attached to this daily eternity.

*…tap, tap, tap, tap…*

The consistency overshadows the brewing plot, and hidden images hide the inner workings of a torn field…stuck in balance of warring realms.

-D-

#getyourpraiseon


I just finished up with my nightly ritual of icing my Achilles area on my left foot.
My body hurts.

As mentioned several times, with the soccer program gone, I’ve been rededucating much of my time to running. Lots of running. However, between bad, old shoes and logging too many miles too quickly, I strained my Achilles and benched myself for an entire week.

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Lot's of nights spent with ice.

With a race last Saturday, new shoes, and support tape I started to slowly to steps back from injury. This past week I’ve had to relearn how to run properly, and that meant miles and hours on a rubber track. As frustrating as an injury is, after icing tonight, I’m finally starting to feel a bit more human.

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The rubber track is becoming my friend.

I knocked five minutes off of my 5K last weekend, and finally hit sub-10:00 1600 meters today. It isn’t much, but it’s progress.

I’m just grateful that I’m finally starting to feel the recovery take shape.

-D-