Mobile Minutes: Body Parts & Whatnot


I don’t understand how over the years I’ve been labeled as the crazy one…

I’m not playing video games in my late 20’s while my wife cleans.
I’m not living in my parents house.
I’m not wearing skinny jeans.
I’m not declaring to have an internal gender identity separate from the external gender.
I don’t own a confederate flag. No, the south will not rise again.
I don’t own a rainbow flag.
I don’t wave signs that suggest, “God hates fags.”
I have a job.
I survived off minimum wage.
I can’t stand Fox News or CNN.
I have had heartfelt conversations with Muslim’s, Hindu’s, people of different races, people with disabilities, people who are gay, and people who are straight. We all found ways to smile while talking and listening to one another.
I’ve voted for Republicans and Democrats; neither instance did I smell sulfur.
I believe in God.

How am I the crazy one?

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Average


Perhaps it’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told myself. Time and time again I hear a preacher say, usually with passion and fire, “God uses and used average, everyday people!”

I’m closing in on 30 years of life and I’m slowly starting to accept my fear.

I’m average.

I’m not an Olympian, professional athlete, world renowned business owner, or genius.

I’m a married man with a steady income. I’m going to wind up with 2.3 kids, a white picket fence, and a mortgage.

I suppose the earlier I begin to accept these realities the sooner life will level out.

God uses average people…

I can only hope…

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Poetic Confessions


Poetic confessions,
Screaming from the resonating chambers of my heart.
Medicated soul strings,
Covering hopeless, lifeless eyes.

Calling for a savior,
Reaching for reality’s escape.
Falling into eternity,
Losing a grasp in humanity’s case.

Hear Your child,
God of Adam.
Hold his bleeding life,
Save him from his sinful lies.

Reject my desires,
Hold fast to Your plan.
Break me, glorious Spirit,
Deny the ability of pouring eyes.

Shake away the tears of temptation,
Shatter my sense of loss.
Refuse the inplicable hope of death,
Restore my weary faith.

Please Father,
Reach me in these trialing times!
Cling to my tattered body,
Cleanse my damaged, distorted life.

XXXI: Every Step I Take


Every step I take,
I take in you,
You make move Jesus
Every breath I breathe,
I breathe in you,

The simple lines reverberate back memories of mission trips, summer camps, and when life was overall easier. Less facial hair, less stress, and an overall appreciation for simplicity…without even knowing it at the time. Even last night at my parents house I found a 31 page paper that I had typed out of spite towards one of my professors. Reading over the text I was humored at how naive I was at the time (and also how my grammar could be relatable to my sixth grade students). Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Streak


Still nothing from the state on my license renewal…
I’ve started work on my resume…
I’ll start on other school district substitute forms tomorrow…
I’ve lost my motivation to run…
My wife is chronically disappointed in me…
I applied to Walgreens today…

I fear this is what they call a losing streak…

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Breaking


I cried last night. While laying in bed this overwhelming sensation of guilt and failure rushed over me. The best thing I could do was hold Darco, whisper, “I’m sorry”, and hope to fall asleep.
It’s isn’t that I miss the job, it’s knowing what kind of bind my shortcoming has placed on our family…again. We learned that it may take up to six weeks for my substitute license to get renewed through DESE (Dept. of Elementary and Secondary Education), and of course that was a sensation of heartache that came through the family when we learned that.
Whether I liked my previous job or not really isn’t the question, it’s more about understanding that I failed. Again.

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Self


I can firmly say the phone call I just received is a first for me. The dialogue when kind of like this:

Me: Why are you crying?
Darco: Because I’m anxious.
Me: Why are you anxious?
Darco: Because I’ve never gone out and spent money on clothes for myself.

So here’s the deal. Darco, as we’ve talked about before, grew up dirt poor. Moving from place to place due to her mother being evicted. It is a really sad story. When we met, Darco’s wardrobe consisted of work clothes, old athletic shorts, and t-shirts from high school.

That. Was. It.

When we got married we were super broke for several reasons. I still told her that when the day arrived, we would purchase a new set of clothes for her.

Praise God that day was today. With holes in her work shirts and shoes, today was the day to wipe the slate clean.

However, much to my surprise. Instead of being thrilled with a shopping spree, my wife was scared to spend any money. Crying from anxiety of getting something for herself.

This is my life…

-D-