Tag Archives: tired

O: Worship Time


Worship

I think of Sonicflood, church camp, high school girls, and people crying on Thursday night. I imagine hands held high, I see ladies with their eyes closed, and potentially hearing the ‘speaking in tongues’ within some groups. However, the more and more I think of worship, the more I tend to constrain my thoughts towards the image of a church, a camp, a group of Christians doing…well…Christian things.

Anyone else gotten to the point that they enjoy having their thoughts proven wrong…repeatedly? I’m a man of stereotypes; it’s a nasty habit, but tempting all the time. The stereotype of worship in a spiritual notion is easily one of the worst. However, tonight reality came knocking, the Holy Spirit kicked down my walls, and I experienced worship.

On the soccer field.

I’ve heard athletes talk about feeling closer to God when they’re doing what they love; granted, I hear very few businessmen ever say that. I always thought it was cliche, but man these past two days has taken my ego, placed it in check, and God has shocked my world.

For those of you keeping track of my strange life; the Kansas City Shock, the women’s soccer team that I own, started their first season this weekend with games on Saturday and Sunday. My life has been an exhaustive, stress filled nightmare. However, you know what?

-The fans showed up
-The merchandise sold [well]
-The players had jerseys
-The music was tight
-The fans cheered
-Photos were taken
-Goals were scored by players from USA, Scotland, and Australia
-The Kansas City Shock is currently 2-0 for the season!

I could cram down stats, and look at images, and flaunt this fact or that, but guys…when you’re standing on the field. You see a team pouring their hearts out for a dream, an idea, a belief. You can hear the fans screaming out names and numbers, the “oooo’s” and “ahhh’s”. You meet strangers and random friends [who probably have never imagined you in this position]. With all that mixed together…I had no choice…have no choice…but to praise God. The moment when you finally realize you’re in your calling, you’re in your ministry, all the garbage that life has thrown at you already…was for this moment. That’s my worship. My worship is seeing a girl who’s done everything to come back to the USA from Scotland, talk to me in April of last year about this program, tried out for this program, got on the roster, lost the first round of coaches, got delayed in the airport [and prior], etc…and see her turn into the most terrifying defender I’ve ever seen, a captain of the team, and knock in the first goal of tonight’s game? That’s a story you don’t forget. The local kid who was in goal and just took everything thrown at her…and then some and didn’t give up a goal all weekend. You don’t forget. The noise, laughter, cheering, and music all combined with whistles, final scores, and handshakes is just so much that it takes me hours later to realize how beautiful orchestrated God has brought an idea together.

I’m beat right now; I’d love to sleep…I’m going to sleep, but I knew I had to get this out first. The Kansas City Shock is real. It’s really, real. An idea and a thought has become a reality, and I’m just managing the task that God has given me. How amazing, beautiful, and breath taking it is to see Him at work.

That’s some good worship.

-D-

P.S. Remember that Australian…

Photo Courtesy of Rob Fish

Photo Courtesy of Rob Fish

 


Mobile Minutes: Two Hours


Midnight.

I made it home two hours earlier then last night. Again, I’m completely wiped. I’m still talking to one of the staff members of the Shock. Work tomorrow, meetings tomorrow, other events tomorrow…Saturday is the same…Sunday is the same…while I’m not complaining about the running around or the stress [surprise!]; I’m just amazed at how absolutely wiped out I currently am.

Looking for the restart in the morning.

-D-


#getyourpraiseon


It’s 2:47…AM

I’ve just experienced my first ‘work day’ of the summer.

Woke up.
Found out Jim’s factory is closing for good on June 7th. 40+ years of work gone.
Went back to sleep.
Woke up.
Went to gym.
Received email…redirected my entire day.
Received phone call. Meeting tonight at 8:00 PM.
Met with my girlfriend at her work.
Got coffee.
Met with MC at her work.
Showered.
Prayed.
Went to work.
Left work.
Picked up Darco for team meeting at 6:00 PM.
Met the Kansas City Shock.
Answered questions.
Watched the first official practice get started.
Received text.
Prayer answered?
Left practice.
Went to meeting.
Massive meeting.
Left meeting.
Ate greasy burger.
Had meeting via Google+ around midnight.
Got home.
In bed.

Needless to say; I’m wiped. However, I want to show you a photo:

ZSport Meeting

…shock the world…

This will be a photo I will treasure for the rest of my life. The ladies you see here are the Kansas City Shock. The prayers, the requests, the long nights and crazy days…it was for this. Sure, it isn’t perfect yet, but man it is getting there. I just can’t believe I saw these players tonight, and was just in awe at what He has done.

Let’s get our praise on. He’s so, so good to us.

-D-

 


O: Fighting Words


I just spent thirty minutes yelling in the car.

To no one.

Seriously, if you looked at me yelling in the car while driving to grab some iced coffee for the night, I was yelling at no one.

Reality is though; I was yelling at God.

I’m so sick of fighting.

I expressed this poorly to my girlfriend tonight. I’m sick of fighting. Today was one of the more stressful Friday’s that I had incurred in some time. The more I thought about it, the more I realized…everything I do is about fighting:

  • I’m fighting for business
  • I’m fighting for love
  • I’m fighting for my faith
  • I’m fighting for my dreams
  • I’m fighting for my health

I’m just fighting. Everything in me revolves around fighting, and guess what? I am tired. I’m exhausted. I’m done with fighting. That’s exactly what I yelled at God tonight; I’m sick of not getting rest and I’m sick of fighting.

Don’t judge me…and don’t tell me none of you have thought something similar…

It started from this morning; I woke up in a horrible mood. Business things have been stressful and it showed in the mirror. The whole day I felt tension between myself and my Master, and tonight I finally snapped. It’s been brewing for a while, and I’m yet to see where actually becoming angry with God gets you any further advancement, but tonight I didn’t even care. I was/am irritated, upset, heartbroken, and just plain mad. Sure, nothing in life is free and you have to work for the things you have, but man…it feels like there isn’t anyone even in the corner with me. Where’s my Father? Where’s my God? Where’s the Creator of the universe? I know He’s here, I know He’s listening, watching, and probably pondering in thought [I wonder if He does that], but tonight…like a spoiled child, I’m just angry with God.

I’m simply angry because I’m sick of fighting, but guess what? It doesn’t stop. The fighting never stops, not on this earth at least. The daily battles of good and evil rage on throughout the days and nights. I once read where it says, “I will give rest to the weary”, but I think I’m not weary enough. It’s hard to express it in words, but even in the ‘real world’ the fighting is insane:

I fight businessmen who throw me under the bus every chance they get.
I fight for the sake of our soccer program; pushing and convincing people that we’re real and we’re going to be great.
I fight in a relationship because I’m fighting for the relationship [I'm just terrible at showing it].

Even a month ago this anger issue saw its boiling point when I was threatened to go outside of a Steak-N-Shake with a fellow customer, so he could show me how to talk like a man. I’m taking full blame for that. I was so sick of seeing the waitress being treated so poorly that I just outright called out a family of six who were being jerks. Turns out papa bear wasn’t thrilled with this notion and through some interlaced cursing made it clear that if I didn’t shut it he was going to force me to. My arrogance got the best of me, but before a blow could be landed, his family left the diner. Was I the hero? Nope, I was just a hot head who was sick of seeing people treated so…horribly. That’s all I am, a fighter.

I’m going to try to fall asleep and actually rest, but judging by the spat I just had with God; I doubt rest comes easily.

-D-


Mobile Minutes: Traveling Days


Just arrived back at the apartment from the monthly business trip.

I love traveling; I mean I thoroughly love. It is an absolute joy to me, but I can firmly say that I’m worn out from the road.

So, I’m taking a few days, finishing up some stores for the month, limiting my road exposure, and counting my blessings.

-D-


Mobile Minutes: Ten Minutes


I’ve made a commitment to myself to be in bed no later than 12:00 AM each night during the work week.

It’s incredible how smooth of a day I had until ten minutes prior to midnight. It just goes to show you that the devil will do whatever he can to discourage you.

Sadly, I confess that I’m discouraged. You know when you work around the clock to build attention on something that you’re working on; something that’s going to be incredible and people just write you off?

Tonight, I’ve been written off…again.

While most times I’d just take it for what it is…this time it was close to home, it was in my backyard, and I’m just discouraged. I feel embarrassed and like a failure to the people around me because I wasn’t able to perform.

It’s 12:03 AM and not only am I still not in bed, I’m headed to bed with a heavy heart and a worn soul.

-D-


Mobile Minutes: Unknown


It doesn’t feel like Tuesday…
My mind is filled with so much stuff right now, and it really is just stuff.
Soccer is stressful and political, each I relate to well. Realistically though, it is still a game. A form of entertainment. It is an opportunity for unique people to show off their unique talents. Something that “separates” them from the rest. It’s behind the scenes that’s rough. It’s the budgets, staying honest, losing sleep, having faith that very few ever see.
It’s being filled with pride, and accepting that the spotlight isn’t on you. It’s embracing humility, and expecting humbling. Never knowing what tomorrow holds.
It’s waking up, going to meetings, trying to understand what the “next step” is.
It is painfully understanding that so many don’t understand the concept of faith, accepting it, and still trying to persuade them to give it a chance.
As I said, I’m drifting to sleep tonight with a ton of stuff in my head, trying to push life to a new level.
Where I’ll never be viewed, and glory will only go to Him.

-D-


Mobile Minutes: Vegas Part V


Got a two hour nap since returning from Reno this morning. All packed and heading to the airport. Cannot believe we don’t drove 900 miles in one day!

Also found my vacation location when it is time for rest: Sparks, Nevada and Lake Tahoe. Anytime business is required out here I’ll always go through Reno, not Las Vegas.

image

Yeah, there was nothing out there…

-D-


Mobile Minutes: Vegas Part III


Up early again. Heading north and driving through the desert. Looking for Starbucks. Nice and warm in Vegas. It’s 38 and snowing in Reno, Nevada. I also started sweating due to the heat in Phoenix. This area definitely gives Missouri a run for its money on extremes.

Still have plenty of energy, but I’m fearful of tomorrow for sure. We’ll be getting back to Vegas around 2:00 AM and our flight leaves at 10:00 AM.

No rest for the weary.

-D-


Mobile Minutes: Vegas Part II


Day Two:

Darco and myself can be summed up in one word: exhausted.

Moving to the meeting today, we were in for a 12 hour experience. It varied from all degrees of soccer in the league, but this much I was able to walk away with; we’re doing something right. We were immediately recognized for the social media stance that our program has. Following Darco and I actually got involved in the open forum discussions, not what I was expecting for our first adventure with the AGM.

Outside of the soccer world Las Vegas is…depressing. Everywhere I go it is the same: smoke, old carpets, craps tables, and people that just want to ‘live’. I’ve never felt more uncomfortable in my life. Strange sensation as there are simple .01 slots everywhere, $10 craps tables, and buffets galore, but all of it seems…gross. I see these bright towers and I think of skyscrapers, offices, business, corporations, etc…but they’re all casino’s and hotels. That’s it. Sorry to all of the Las Vegas fans out there, but I’m not overly impressed.

Heading to bed now, need to be up by 5:00 AM tomorrow so we can head up north to Sparks, Nevada to see our wonderful friends at Legacy FC.

-D-


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