RECOVERY: oBEDIENCE


o·be·di·ence

[oh-bee-dee-uhns]

noun

1. the state or quality of being obedient.

2. the act or practice of obeying; dutiful or submissive

compliance: Military service demands obedience from its

members.

3. a sphere of authority or jurisdiction, especially ecclesiastical.

A moment of silence for my ego…

*pause*

I’m not one to enjoy following directions, at all. I’ll read a map, I’ll read installation information [take note ladies, I learned…], but when it comes to advise from those wiser and older than myself; I’m a failure.

Sure, I could shove it off on human nature, being inherently evil, etc…but the fact of the matter is that I’ve thought that I was always smarter then the rest of the world [I didn’t say I was right for thinking that]. What became even more dangerous was placing myself in a position where I was tempted to seriously think [stupidly] that I had more wisdom then God. Once again, I didn’t say I was right in thinking this, but for several years following college, I had this arrogance about me. I had my five year plan; I graduated from a baptist college with a girlfriend, that meant we would get married, two story house, white picket fence, and 2.3 kids…ish. The stage was set, I just had to get the comfy teaching job that I’d retire from as a bitter, old prune that the school wouldn’t be able to afford to get rid of.

My plan. My way. My success.

I listened to no one. I had a chip on my shoulder, I had to prove everyone wrong, and I had to succeed with life on my own, without assistance.

My goodness how quickly mindsets can change.

When you’re stripped of everything, minus the shirt on your back [except when I didn’t turn on the A/C because I couldn’t afford the electric bill], you do tend to listen to the voices and suggestions around you, because of the fact you have no choice but to look at your own choices and think, “My plan isn’t working.”

I will quickly say that there are two groups that I listened to, that I had not listened to in the past.

  • Parents: While MC and Jim were just heartbroken, I didn’t argue with them. I argue with MC most days of the week, but when push came to shove and my life was absolutely wrecked. I didn’t second guess a single thing they suggested. There is something about being the child and recognizing parental protection, embracing it, and running with it. It took me 23 years, but I figured out that you’re obedient to your parents because in so many moments [don’t quote me on this], they do know what is best for you, and in the end; they will do anything to protect you.
  • God: If you’re getting tired of hearing about the whole “God-thing”; I don’t care. I truly don’t, because I can personally testify that the moment I stopped trying to figure out life on my own and just sat down in that dark, empty bedroom and just said, passionately and whole-hearted, “Ok God, you know so much? You figure it out!” [I didn’t say I was happy at the moment]. Since that moment, when I finally decided to listen, obey, and stop challenging authority, His authority…well…I suppose let the last year speak for itself.

People have asked, repeatedly, from weight loss, to the Kansas City Shock, to even Subway; what was the secret to myself getting into these moments. How many all-nighters did I pull, and what did I have to sacrifice? What and who did I know?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

There is no secret recipe, answer to how everything came together, it literally came down to one simple idea:

Putting myself aside and just learning to obey.

Trust and obey, for there is no other way, To be happy in Jesus, then to trust and obey…”

-D-

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