Yes, that is a picture of sushi [and yes it was delicious], and there is a point to this post [picture]. Currently I’m typing this in a land far away from home [no, not Japan], but at the same time in my life it has frequently been my ‘second home’.
Tonight, after a long day of work and driving [seriously long], I found myself pulling into the town that I graduated college from, met my ex-wife from, and in all points serious; where this website came from.
I pulled into the Comfort Inn [amazing], walked into my room after speaking for about ten minutes with the lady at the front desk [crazy nice], and when I entered…my emotions just gave out. I crumbled in the chair near the desk and started to form tears. I’m not stressed, I’m not overwhelmed [back hurts from digging through possessions to find my french press], and I’m not lonely. I’m not really sad, but I was just overwhelmed with the notion of the blessings that I’ve arrived to in my life.
Throughout today, whether by the grace by rain, or the kind souls that I met along every corner; it just seemed that God was all around me. Even at one point I stopped along the side of this two lane road, just to snap a quick photo of two rivers forming together through the mist. It was just one of those days. I talked to K8 for a good chunk of it, explaining this concept of realizing how easy and beneficial it was to fall in love with God, compared to the rocky relationships so many of us build our lives from [while also gloating about my French Press, too bad she sent a photo of her bed, gloating about working from home]. Even though I spent a crazy long time at one of my stops today, it was beneficial. The crew was so kind, compassionate, and one even remembered me from my days of substitute teaching.
While racking my brain with thoughts of ways to describe the sensations that this heart is experience, it’s just plain and simple; my life has been blessed. Here I am, in the town I was nearly destroyed in, in a great hotel room, in business clothes [dreaming of my sweat pants], with a plate of sushi before me. Who am I to deserve this? I’m not! I struggle for about an hour to eat the food. I haven’t touched sushi since before I was divorced, it was the one meal that my ex-wife and I thoroughly enjoyed. It was ‘our’ meal [is there such a thing?], and we’d save up all week, so that we could enjoy this meal once a week. May was the last time I had sushi. Tonight, I saw it, ordered it, thought about it; and finally, I pushed my past, and in turn my pride, to the side and ate my meal.
Taste and see that the Lord is good…
Truly the only thought going through my mind. I’ve been reckless, ruthless, and all around a shameful being; and the One who created it all still takes the time to protect me, to bless me. He chose to love on the sniveling snot that complains about not being good enough, not being wanted. With each bite tonight, it was a savory, delicious reminder that my God is never going to leave me.
It’s amazing to be in a place where, for so many years, you felt in danger. You believed everyone was out to get you [and probably had good reason to], and now, in a very strange way; you’ve grown up.
I’ve grown up [maybe].
I’m just crazy blessed, and even though the road [both metaphorical and physical] may be long; I’ve got someone with me the entire way.