My girlfriend and I had the day together [mostly], and by the night we found ourselves freezing [again] at a local women’s soccer game.
Today was a struggle, several times I found myself at a boiling point, and my girlfriend and I were just not…gracious with one another [I’ll let you read in between the lines].
It finally hit a boiling point with the slamming of the car door this evening after stopping at Walmart for some pizza. It was a conversation about health, that like many other topics today, just immediately spiraled out of control into controversy, frustration, but thankfully no yelling.
I share this to again highlight that perfection is desirable, but not obtainable; especially in a relationship. Several times today I had to reflect back to my past, failed marriage and make changes at a moments notice today that I would not have done two years ago. It took patience, grace, and something else that I wasn’t sure what to make of.
Thankfully, after talking for hours tonight on the floor of my apartment, we parted ways with a hug, well wishes, and warm hearts.
How I’ve forgotten the never-ending strength of loving souls.
It’s frequently interesting to see a reoccurring pattern that has taken place in my life: people doing dramatic things to literally start over. They paint the picture of what their life is to be, what they dream it to be, and what they pray to God to show them it’ll be, and then suddenly; they go out and just do it.
No strings attached.
Our stories all have a starting point, but more importantly they all have a climaxes as well. My girlfriend is starting to get to this point. The realization, as noted here earlier this week, is that times are changing for us. A new door is quickly [and I mean rapidly] opening up and we’re going to have to make a fast choice on the next chapter of life. Looking at the soccer perspective, living in Kansas City is very ideal for both of us. However, removing ourselves from the city we currently live in, that’s a solid adjustment for me; who just settled down, but more important; it’s life changing for my girlfriend who only knows this city as her life.
Painting a picture of what our lives could be, what we desire them to be, what we believe God wants them to be, some days is the only thing that keeps us moving. My girlfriend and I are constantly crunching numbers, looking at ledgers, and just trying to imagine, “When does this end?” in reaction towards bills.
It doesn’t, but it can become easier. The bills that is. In recent days the staff at Weber Creative Arts and the Kansas City Shock have finalized the designs for our sponsorship packages. It’s chilling to realize that it is real, but literally within the past few days I’ve scheduled three new meetings in the next week [not to mention breakfast with my dad…another post for later], just to talk to potential investors, and programs that we’re looking to partner up with. It’s a challenge, it isn’t easy, but together [thankfully] my girlfriend look at this blank slate, this moment to start over, and through our struggles we’re trying to stop thinking, “Remember when?”, and we’re trying to ask, “What’s next?”
God is good. When the night is over and the day is done, I’m so, so blessed to be able to look at my girlfriend and say, “God is good”. God didn’t put me in a cubicle, He didn’t allow me to wander into a classroom, He’s designed a unique life from the very beginning that can just be a bit different, and can shock just a few people.
What’s the picture your painting? What are you settling for? What are you dreaming about? How are you going to reach that dream?
If you’re not asking these questions every day you wake up, now is a great time to start.