Yeah…it’s that bad…
I was sitting at lunch today with MC, Darco, and Jim; coat pulled up, shivering, waiting for our soup and salad from Olive Garden.
Jim and MC, being my parents, knew what these were signs of:
You need rest. Every time we see red around your eyes, we know you’re overworked and you need rest.
Believe me; I wanted to argue with them, but they’re right.
From Blanc last night, three meetings during the week, a snow storm that I had to drive through, getting work done for the week, finalizing the tryout format for the Shock for next week…I just want to confess that I’m tired. I’m so tired that I’m sad. Seriously.
I was driving between my stores tonight, just talking to God in the car [why not?], and I just kept saying, “I’m sorry”, because so frequently I feel like I’ve disappointed Him, or let Him down.
If I was a stronger Christian I would be able to keep going on little sleep, if my faith was stronger, I wouldn’t get worn down so easily. When the reality is; I’m really worn down. Getting a soccer team and business off up the ground is a challenge in itself; factor in another team being established in the same city as yours, only supported by the US Soccer Federation…that’s a chore to deal with.
I hope I’ve handled it well.
These are the moments where being the small fish in the ocean [versus big fish in the little pond] can get overwhelming. I told my Sunday School class at MoVal today my exact thoughts:
In any other case, there is no rhyme or reason for why our business continues to grow. We should not have been successful.
The harsh reality is; we shouldn’t. Not in this economy, not in this city, and most definitely not by being created on Twitter first. Every move that has been made has made little sense, but it’s been the right more. Again, my goal for this program hasn’t changed; I want people to look back at our program and simple think:
There was obviously someone bigger behind the creation and success of this program.
I hope credit doesn’t go my way, because believe me; I don’t deserve it.
*first yawn from the Ny-Quil*
Either way, I’ve come home for the night; I’m completely wiped. I’ve taken some Ny-Quil, finished up early, and now the yawns are starting to set in. I plan on sleeping soundly through the night, and well into the morning.
When I fall asleep; I do so continuing to believe that God has this, He has this, and I just need to trust…