XO: Burnt Up

Per usual, I try very hard to keep my fitness garbage off this account.


I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m officially burnt out. The drive is gone.

This’ll be the third time in my short amount of time on this planet going through a weight loss attempt. The other two were successful…until a life changing event detailed them.

First Attempt: Dropped 30 pounds between the summer of 2007 and the winter of 2007. I had been dating a college volleyball player for two years, and she was gorgeous. I was not. In order to atone for my sin, I ran, and ran, and ran that weight off. Two to three hours in the gym? Worth it because she would find me more physically attractive and desire me that much more.

Result: She dumped me Thanksgiving of 2007, I lost the weight, and dealt with a horrible, lonely holiday season.

Second Attempt: After getting married in 2010 I ballooned out to 275 pounds, that’s 50 pounds over my ideal weight. January of 2011 I started running again, couldn’t even do half a mile in thirteen minutes. Kept working on it, hoping my wife would hop on board. She did. Mixed with a new job I started losing weight, as did she. Things were great. By June I was down to 240. My wife then divorced me, and left me for dead. My drive was to be attractive, be around “hot people”, and personally, mentally stuck it to my ex-wife for brushing me aside for not being good enough. Christian-like? Nope. 100% honest? Absolutely.

Result: After being homeless over the summer, and completely broke, I dropped all 50 pounds by January of the following year, and was able to accomplish a mile under four minutes.

Third Attempt: I’m remarried and am currently sitting at 265 pounds. I can barely run a mile, and I look disgusting. I don’t blame my wife at all. I’m just not attractive, I’ve let everything go, and disappointingly enough…I’ve lost every ounce of drive to overcome this…again.

I’m finally just completely burnt out.


One response to “XO: Burnt Up

  1. Pingback: XO: Expectations | Signing On The X

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