XO: Expectations


I hate that word. Expectations, it’s almost as if it was designed to imply that you’re going to fail at any given proposal anyways. It’s a burden, a weight on your shoulders. It’s annoying the prophetic sense and tense of the concept. Frankly, I’m just not a fan.

With that being said, that doesn’t mean that I’m free from expectations, nor do I reserve them for others instead of myself. I too have expectations of myself, my life, and my future. Realistically, if I’m not working on a project, talking to someone, or solving a problem I’m not meeting my own expectations.

I’ve got a problem that I need to fix.

It’s rather embarrassing, but for the sake of liveliness [and a bit of humor I suppose], I’ll let you in on the problem.

tried to put on a pair of jeans today. I expected to wear them today. I did not.

While I’m not an advocate of placing healthy related rubbish on this site, this is something that directly affects my overall life.

The reality: I am overweight.
The truth: I’m not alright with that.

I was too skinny in school. I wasn’t muscular enough. I gained the wrong weight in college. The list of problems goes on and on, but that doesn’t excuse this harsh reality.

Now that the embarrassment is over, we ask this question:

How do we fix it?

As of late, and Darco knows this, I’ve lost all motivation, and now it’s costing me. I mean, two years ago I would have done anything for a gym membership and currently I have one that I barely use. That’s pathetic. So, the simple beginnings go back to what I eat, and how I eat. That’s the rough part, but the process was already started with myself being down to one cup of a coffee a day, and filling the rest of the day with water. Now, we’ll need to kick out the fast food, fried food, and other garbage. Thankfully, mixed blessing, Darco has gluten and dairy allergies; this eliminates carbs and cheese. So, the food issue is slowly, but sure getting under control. MC and Jim’s Christmas gifts [new cooking set] will help a ton. After that, it won’t just be losing weight, it’ll have to be about finding motivation. Something needs to drive me. Part of that will come with knowing that I’m going to be on our Mazda videos that we’re working on, on the social side of things. Part of it will just have to be forcing myself to see into a future that I can’t quite obtain yet. I picked out these specific new glasses for that specific reason. They go to a new wardrobe, they’re a puzzle piece of where I see myself going in the future. Finally, it’ll have to revolve around the Kansas City Shock. My biggest complaint in the sports world is seeing administration and coaches that are grotesquely overweight. It makes no sense, and I can’t be a part of it. I’m supposed to be young, fresh, and…truthfully…handsome. It’s a responsibility of being in the spotlight.

Don’t consider this a New Year’s Resolution, because I don’t believe in that rubbish. Consider this a firm reminder that I have my own expectations, along with everyone else’s, that I need to uphold.


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