Words that I’ve found myself repeating more often this past week then any other time that the phrase has come to mind. Sometimes, life is just hard. The ones you trust are the ones that drag you down, and ones that you foolishly gave up on are the ones that lift your spirits high. I suppose God works in mysterious ways.
Nothing compared to a divorce between Christians, but notable all the same is my recent experience in the business world. It turns out, as if anyone was surprised, letting a twenty-something with imagination and pixie dust loose into the corporate realm is a horrible, horrible idea. Frankly, I don’t know what’s more terrifying; if the person fails, or if the person succeeds. Failure leads to the grim reality that not every idea is great, and not every person was meant to lead. It can result in immediate consequences, and very hard slept nights. It could cause questioning of faith, waivers in individuals beliefs, and perhaps even the side of depression for a spell or two.
But success, especially when unwarranted, and in some extreme cases unwanted, can create a stir of its own. Elements of pride trickle into existence, greed shows its devilish face, and faith in many instances is left as a whim; merely to be used on those rainy days when the latte isn’t hot enough. Success can also lead to revolution, revelation, and a revival of thoughts that had been grounded for years. It could mean the uprising of a new group of leaders, and the downcast of the ‘elite’ through times path.
I suppose we could throw around the classic Frost analogies of choices, roads, and paths of destiny; never knowing which is right. However, as a man reminded me late last night, “You choose the hardest path out there. You choose the challenge. If you didn’t, you’d be so #%!@-ing bored, you wouldn’t know what to do.” I suppose that sums up my life’s choices.
It’s nice waking in the morning, not regretting the life you live and cherishing the day your given. Frankly, it’s a nice change of pace from the status quo I had set for myself over the years.
In all, this whole post was about the Kansas City Shock, that women’s soccer team that for months I “proudly” owned. It’s a mess right now. People shifts, financial constraints, and deadlines are looming in the day-to-day shuffle. I know that if it was a year ago these manners would be enough to keep me awake at night; fearful over what may come or what may not happen in “x” amount of days. Things change though, and I would hope that eventually I’d begin to grow in understanding a further concept of what faith really means. Does it mean that God will rain gold upon me just because I’m nice to some random person at Starbucks? Probably not. It does mean though that I’m going to do my best on each day that He’s given me. Sometimes I’ll be more successful then others, but if I’m sleeping well at night that means I’m working, and I easily associate working with being a servant. I struggle at being a servant, deep down I’m a spoiled brat and desire the world to wait on me. That is something that I’m still trying to get control over.
When it’s all said and done though; when the day has reached its night, the results are still all the same:
A. I have an awesome family
B. I make some stupid mistakes
C. God loves me unconditionally
Those are all things, both good and bad, that no one can take away. Tomorrow is another busy day, so I’m off for a good nights rest, but instead of complaining about the unknown, I simply accept God being in control and letting Him guide me. Even if it scares everyone else.