Afternoon naps can wait.
What was to be a quick recharge became a REM nightmare. I woke up out of a nap…a nap…in an anxiety attack.
It was terrifying. Sweating, pulse racing, fighting nausea, and trying to figure out where I was. After a few frightening seconds I came to my senses and reflected back on the nightmare I got locked into.
I was back home. Living on scraps behind the local Subway. I had lost everything, even a motivation to live. All I cared about was life once upon a time, my undying joy of fried foods, and the reality in the middle of winter that I had nowhere to live.
That’s the dumbest, most trivial thing that I could be scared of. However, heading into the school year…I’m having fun. I’m challenged, I’m laughing, and my wife is happy because of it.
That’s a life I’m terrified to lose.
I will not go back into that darkness.
I will not.