Three days into the recent battle with the common cold and I’m proud to say that I’ve come out on top. I’m actually impressed that the more time I spend inside the walls of education, the stronger my immune system becomes. Most certainly I’ve been able to combat this illness in record time compared to years past.
That’s practically my excuse for not typing in here as of late…
I caught myself daydreaming earlier today. Most of the time I try very hard to remain neutral on world and political issues. Even though it’s my ‘content of study’ with my degrees; it truly allowed me to escape the reality of what it really entails. However, for a few moments this morning, while the fog lifted and truth became clearer, I humored my own wonderings into the realm of reality that we call home.
Obviously, as it may come to sense for many, most of my thoughts ended with questions and rarely an answer. Never an absolute one. I’ve witnessed bitterness, death, shock, and horror play parts of our daily lives. My heart has heart with unknown answers as to why the world plays the same game every day. Answers, I try to give them to my students, but there are so many things in our world that rationally do not make sense. We are humans, we make decisions that aren’t always based on logic, our hearts and souls still guide our weary existence.
I don’t think I’d be happy having answers as to why we act the way we do. Many years ago I’d search, analyze, decipher, and be a true ‘social scientist’ to discover why death exist in the spotlight…and why we’re sickly amused.
My soul isn’t in it…
It’s the things they don’t warn you about before you become a Christian that many times become most influential in your day-to-day lives. Watching politicians label, hate, and lie their way to victory doesn’t shock me. Shockwaves of cluster bombs on live television no longer make my skin tingle. It’s not that I’m numb…it’s the fact that I’ve already been prepared.
I’m not quite sure why people, anybody, believes that we live in a world that’s safe. Since its beginning, it’s never been that way. Humanity thrives only when we show risk to each others lives. It’s the complex of the fallen man; knowing and accepting that we’re flawed. An incorrect code in a program. We deny our errors only while accepting eventual deletion from the software. We’re more computerized than we once believed.
My hope doesn’t ride on politics, humanity, innovation, or ideas…they will all fall short; I will always fall short.
I don’t look to sky, expecting to see it roll back like a scroll, waiting for trumpets to blare, and kingdoms to fall. The notion of predicting whatever the end is, is nearly as humorous as predicting the beginning, or even understanding the current. I wake up an influence those around me, I smile even when life is frightening, there’s so little else to do. If truly I want to wander away from the crowds of life; isn’t happiness my only alternative? We’re facades and fakes; makeup caked on to cover our innate being. We lie to ourselves, pop the pills, and pretend that reality isn’t the way it really is.
The script written sounds as depressing as the world we choose to view through our own looking-glass.
Honesty and humility is found in understanding that denying one’s self is the actualization of the anti-thesis to the modern culture. We’re perverse with offensiveness and fearful of shame, but only at times when it damages the image of the person behind the mirror. Charity to peace and good times to all only counts as productive if the bottom dollar is still met, and the shoes still shine as much as the competitor across the street.
How far is the tipping point for humanity? That’s my curious question. At which point do we cross a line that crosses time and existence? If we cannot become God through our own findings, in turn what road does that leave us with? How long can we go until our final string to our puppeteers is finally cut?
When does our show end?
Just another morning drive heading to school.