XXXI: Default

Your loan has been accelerated…


Trying to reestablish my thought process this morning. I haven’t even touched my coffee yet and it’s already 8:30 AM.


I’ve been mulling over how to be honest without shattering any self-esteem that may be left in my body. I suppose self-esteem isn’t really needed when an individual tries to remove their worldly desires. However, I can say this soundly…

I failed. Continue reading

X: Testing

Don’t you love that quote..

Thy shall not test the Lord, thy God

Yes, I’m rather bad about following that one as well. Amazingly more so now than ever before. As you’ve noted in some posts within this site, this concept of professional soccer keeps creeping up on me; more like it actually just jumped me from behind and beat me senseless.

I mean it was one thing to get moving from the fallout from the divorce, with absolutely nothing and a destroyed heart, but this…this thing is…it’s…it’s huge. I try to explain this concept to people, and I begin the statement with three letters.


Yes, read it again; you’re thinking of Bill Gates and Howard Schultz. I seriously get it. However, several times we forget that the idea of a CEO is literally the individual that is rather responsible of an organization. As of yesterday, I grabbed the reigns and a hand full of faith and stepped into the role of CEO of Kansas City’s newest sports team; Kansas City Shock. The Shock are a new team that will be entering the Women’s Premier Soccer League in 2013. The team will be traveling to the likes of Chicago, Tulsa, Arkansas, and even further. Primarily the players are college students that play, as the WPSL runs during the summer. A few things to note of this, primarily we recruit local talent [though I have a specific player across the ocean that is somewhat interested in playing here as well], and that since they’re in college, they cannot be paid. Honestly, that makes our tasks a little cheaper.

That’s where the ‘test’ part comes in.

When crunching numbers, looking at routes, fees, and other miscellaneous expenses, we’re looking at a needed budget of $50,000 for the year to operate. Yes, you read that right. That’s a lot of money, and coming from the kid that was looking at living in the back of his truck less then a year ago, rather terrifying. So, because you [myself] loves bullet points, here we go to check out some financial points within my life [there is a reason behind this, review this first]:

  • Dallas [Part II]: Myself with Dur and Darco are heading back down to Dallas in a few weeks. After Darco and I went the last time, FC Dallas contacted me with a great ticket deal for FC Dallas’s home opener. So, I took it. It’ll be a great time, and amazing and humbly put, God has blessed me with the funding needed to enjoy this weekend with some rather new member’s to God’s family
  • Maryland [Part II]: No wedding this time, strictly soccer. The owner of Maryland Capitols FC has been in contact with me over the past several weeks, to encourage, inform, and assist in helping me develop the Shock [where do you think the jersey company came from]. I’ll be heading there in April to see their home opener versus FC Indiana. I’ll get to see how the games are set up, media, venues, everything. It’ll be a great walk through with two great leaders [the individual from FC Indiana is a legend in his own right]. Thankfully, after looking at plane tickets, this one will not be too expensive and due to payment processes with loans and knocking out a few other debts, this trip will take place as well.
  • Guatemala: Currently, the price for this bad boy stands at $1,300 [as $300 has already been paid]. I’ll be gone for around a week down in the beautiful land of Guatemala. It started as just loving on some kids in an orphanage, now we’ve got soccer gear running out of our ears, running a clinic, and I get to share my faith, my unique story to all these kids. Financially; this one actually bothers me the least. I’m getting my taxes taken care of on Tuesday. In theory, if things pan out correctly, I’ll get roughly $2,000 back. The main chunk of that tax return…BAM! Trip is paid for. I told myself, along with a few others, that I dare not take any funding from others for this trip. There are several youth age individuals that I working like crazy doing odd jobs to get the money to go; they need the help. Not the white color worker.
  • Overland Park, Kansas: This is a weird one. Part of this whole KC Shock thing has to do with proper ‘soccer schooling’, meaning that I need to take a few courses through the NSCAA. This course in July is called the National Diploma. It is the base level for any of those wanting to continue their education. A few cons for me; A. It’s $620 and it is over a two weekend period; B. I have horrible test anxiety when it comes to ‘hands on’ pieces of examinations. Well, it’s soccer; therefore it involves hands on. I’m terrified already. The good news is that I’ve already made contact with a man I know in the NSCAA office and over the next few months he will be assisting me in preparing for this course. As for the payment for this scary thing; I expect the remainder of the tax return will go towards it along with the money I was spending on a few debts that will be paid off by then.
  • Reno, Nevada [Part I]: From the kid that hates flying, I need to start getting frequent flyer points. Out in Reno is a soccer club called Legacy FC. It is ran by two lovely Australians that played for the University of Nevada and created this club. After speaking with them through Twitter, there is some interest that they have of entering the WPSL in ’13 as well. We’ve become kind of like sister programs, and due to this; they’ve invited me out to see their academy during the summer. With the NSCAA courses taking place the last week of July, I’m having to bump this one up a week. The bad news, not quite sure how this is going to get funded. The good news, plane tickets out there aren’t too excessive [though more expensive then going to Maryland]. It needs to happen, and I know He’ll provide, but I’m rather curious on how. Note: Due to my birthday being in that time frame as well, the lovely ladies have encouraged to take me up to Lake Tahoe for my birthday. I’m pumped.
  • Reno, Nevada [Part II]: As noted above, there are NSCAA courses to take; this also includes another one in Reno in November. A DOC course, something is taught strictly to those who are the director/president/CEO/whatever other title you can find; is being offered and due to the Shock, this would be a wise investment for myself and very knowledge grasping. Additionally, the course is going to be led by a individual who is the operator of another WPSL team, the Boston Breakers. Pro: once again, flying out and all won’t be too expensive. Con: still have to find funding.
  • California: UGH! This one freaks me out in so many ways it is insane. As being part of the WPSL you’re required to send a member of your organization to the annual meeting. Well guess who? Additionally, we have to have our entry fees ready for this as well, which totals $6,000; of course I’m not sure where that will come from as well. Very nervous about California as I know very little about it, but it will be taking place in either late December or early January. Plus…I’ve never been to California. Airfare will be pricey with this one also, another concern will be sure to have the proper funding in place, and by the time this meeting comes around, the Shock better be ready to go with sponsorship’s and every thing else in between.

Those are the trips that have come up and are slated. Thankfully, after speaking to MC and Jim, they’ve actually become extremely supportive of this endeavor. I think partly because they’ve been able to see so many doors open up. Recently it has involved K8 contacting me with the idea of working with us as the media and marketing coordinator. Further blowing my mind. Our first sponsorship letter went out today to Starbucks [you think I’m joking…], and the jersey company that did the FC Indiana design as was displayed on here…somewhere.

Finally, with all that said; there is still that one personal issue; student loans. While this new job [along with my current] becomes absolutely insane, it isn’t profitable. I will not make a dime off of this, it just will not happen. Meaning that I’ve got less time to work on paying loans, without the increased revenue. It’s a risk, and it is very nerve rattling.

I say all of this, because of the constant temptation that lurks in my head; I desperately want to look at God and say, “Oh yeah? Try figuring this one out.”

We all know He is smirking at me, cracking His knuckles and getting ready to blow my mind.


Mobile Minutes: Student Loans

Yep…they’re back with a vengeance, per usual.

I’m course I have to be clear that I’m not nearly as strapped as I was in July or June. So, please do not look at this as mere pity, just thinking along my doodle pad [aka FilingThePapers]…oooo…a subsection within this site entitled ‘doodle pad’…that could be interesting. Doubt it.


I guess part of me is just rather flustered in a personal sense, and a political sense [be weary when you see that word come up in my text].

Personally, hindsight being that lovely 20/20 of course, I’m disgusted with the fact that I didn’t strive harder to work on better grades in high school, and actually fill out scholarship applications. That’s something that I definitely place on myself and have no one else to blame.

On the other side…

I’m sick of getting warped into a culture that professes the concept that you’ll only succeed if you go through college. Additionally, tacking on the substantial, insane debt while in college because your parents make too much for grants, but too little to pay for anything [nothing against them], and then being told, “Get this degree, because of great job security.” Only to find out, applications later, that because you don’t coach the correct sport you can’t become a teacher within a district that can barely afford to pay you minimum wage because the state government would rather slash taxes in which schools would get money, then slash it on government payrolls, subsidies, and possibly big business [that isn’t that big because of the economy]. It’s frustrating to look at my degrees, tacked up, framed all nice and near along the wall and know that I could have spent less money, less time, and worked harder outside of school…and possibly would have wound up with the same, exact job.

I hate knowing that I’m going to be paying for my college loans for nearly a decade after I graduated due to gaining interest rates and climbing percentages. I’m not sure if I’m paying a college bill or a credit card bill. Furthermore, I’m upset knowing that groups such as the International Mission Board, will not let you travel abroad because of any additionally debt you may have in the states. I completely respect the IMB’s stance on the issue, I just hate being tied down by the legalities of merely one culture.

Yes, I’m just irritated and wish the darn things would just go away. I embrace and understand that it is just going to be hard work to get through it, and that I’m blessed with the ability to primarily pay for all these additional expenses.

Please excuse the rant; I’m tired of forking out money for an education that was stressed and showed little results, and I’m just tired.