I know of so many people that enjoy running in groups, or running with another person, or something along those lines. I suppose it’s rather common. Truth is, personally I really don’t care for it. Primarily because I feel awkward around someone else while I’m trying to run, and most likely they’re faster than me anyways, so a onset of pity kicks in also (at least I’m realistic).
I finally hit the threshold of exhaustion today. I spent an hour running outside, followed by another hour in the gym. With the 94℉ heat you’d expect some tiring from being outside, but it was the elliptical at the gym that really caused me to question life.
I have no stride, and an elliptical is great for forcing you to have one. Near the twenty minute mark I was just moving to move. All my muscles were failing, sweat was pouring off my face, and I just kept repeating the same question:
Why am I running?
Only through exhaustion can I see a clear picture of dreams, desires, and prayers. Darco always asks me what I want to do that would be fun. My answer to her is the same as my daily prayer, I just want to run.
I want to fly down the track, and move with the breeze. I want to feel my legs firing in sync with a wild horse. I really have no clue my purpose for being placed on this earth, but this much I do know:
While I’m here, I’m going to keep running with my dreams.
Hamming It Up
It’s the only positive phrase I could think of for the moment.
Across the street from the track that I train at is a rather large, paved hillside. It’s a street that isn’t too frequently occupied with moving traffic. Because of this, and looking at the need to continue to increase in strength and health; I felt today was a great day to concur the hill with some self-satisfying sprint work.
My body did not agree.
I haven’t “sprinted” 100% since my sophomore year of college. During which time I suffered a nasty hamstring injury (from not warming up mind you), and lived in fear of ever approaching that mark again. That was until today, after my first successful series on the hill I came down to refocus. I took off the second time and felt good, so good that without thinking I just kicked in another gear and started sprint up the hill… Continue reading
I’m still recovering…
I started the 1600 meter way too fast on the first lap, I was dying by the third, and going insane on the fourth. I finished with a time that’s better versus where it has been (near a six minute drop since May). It isn’t good enough by any means, but it is progress.
More importantly though was the questions I fielded from Darco afterwards while I was working on a post-run snack. The questions showed me that she saw that I was serious about this two year commitment (I even turned down an opportunity for ice cream tonight). It makes me happy knowing that she saw through those four laps that I am completely insane, but I’m also completely dedicated.
God made me to run, and we’re going to show the world that.
I got a ‘catch 22’ deal with my wife. After her becoming a follower of Christ, Christian, however else you’d like to describe it; she quickly filled the role of what I had missed at my time in college.
Religious debates. Continue reading
I am no one…
…and it feels great.
I was running last night through some rural roads while a storm system passed through; creating a delightful [and cold experience]. Upon my return back to the starting position of the adventure it started to sink in…
I am no one…
However, in past experiences this would be met with doubt, guilty, pity, and a plethora of other mentioned terms that’d make me feel sorry for myself, yesterday was not that experience.
I am no one…
Over the past two years I received exactly what I wanted, I got a taste of the spotlight, and I accepted the pressures of life before me. I tried, I failed, and then I was brushed off and led onto a new path. I love my life; I have an awesome wife and an incredible job. Imagine, I sit at a computer all day finding ways to market products and services through social media. I practically live on Twitter and Google+, how cool is that? My wife has become a health nut, of which I love her even more because of it. We travel, work on new projects, pray for her promotion, and watch life evolve before us.
I am no one…
I am not a successful businessman, entrepreneurship really isn’t my thing; even though I find the process fascinating. I love to type, dream of writing, and get wrapped up in new, creative ways to market new ideas and dreams. I wasn’t really designed to be in the spotlight, the preacher, teacher, businessman, or anything of the life. I enjoy being behind the scenes, staying quiet, and operating life from the stroke of the keys. How different is that from a piano player? I read books, run outside, and drive throughout the country between work and home. There are dreams of fitness, and hopes of health; knowing that one will always compliment the other. I hang out with my best friend, she’s everything to me and I couldn’t have dreamed up a better life partner. We’ve witnessed tragedy, disappointment, and many sleepless nights, but God never left our side. We’ve cried for repentance, and wept when hope felt lost, but each morning we’d wake up knowing that He was still in control.
I’m trying to live a reality and a dream I had years upon years ago; simple truth of being less so God can become more. It’s taken hard lessons, and painful realities, but as time progresses scars do really heal. My blood pleasure is lowered, and sleep comes rather easy these days. More time is spent with family, and after 7:00 each night social media world gets placed on hold for the next morning. There are dreams and ambitions, many tasks I hope to accomplish, and bigger adventures that lie beyond the current path.
With that said though, no matter the event that lays before me, or the path that is taken, I am so much more comfortable hanging out in the shadows, being more quiet compared to loud, and learning to put pride aside and understand what ‘me’ is really about. The idea of ‘me’ is merely pride, accepting that the importance of life revolves around yourself. It’s a dangerous place to be as a Christian, and it become hard to keep your tongue controlled. Thankfully God is good, a loving Father that always rescues His kids every time that they’ve fallen. In recent months I’ve fallen hard, and it’s hurt, and it caused pain, but at the end the lesson learn was understanding that when the sun sets, when the sun rises, I have to always uphold to a holistic truth:
I am no one…
Maybe it’s the water?
1. Brake line broke on my truck
2. Battery died in my truck
3. Brakes and rotors were ruined in Darco’s car
4. Darco hasn’t been promoted (yet)
5. The pastor resigned
6. The cat woke me up at 1:30 AM puking and attempting to use the restroom…outside his litter box (he’s sick)
7. I’ve been stranded outside for three hours now in Kansas City because the starter went out in the car. Getting it towed.
8. Darco was injured at work a few weeks ago. Now proceeding workmens comp.
9. Kansas City Shock
10. Broke the pizza stone
11. Killed the blender
There’s no “God won’t give you so much that you can’t handle.” That’s referred to as “theological crap”.
There’s no clean way to spin it. Darco and I have been taking an incredible beating as of late…